Hell Has Actually Frozen Over, So All Bets Are Off
It's been so cold in parts of the US this week that even Lake Michigan turned to ice.
So cold that people have been advised not to breathe too deeply.
And now, Hell has officially frozen over.
But don't start thinking you will no longer suffer eternal fiery damnation for all of your sins - the Hell in question is a town in Michigan, located around 60 miles (96km) west of Detroit.
This is not the first time Hell has frozen over. Five years ago the town was hit by a huge deluge of snow, but this time around it is far colder, with temperatures dropping as low as -26C.
A town Facebook page, brilliantly entitled 'Go To Hell, Michigan', confirmed that Hell had indeed frozen over.
The post read: "We don't have as much snow, but we are much colder! Yes, Hell has frozen over."
Hell has frozen over ..Hell Michigan #PolarVotex2019 pic.twitter.com/oOk3epEx0z - marlene :womans_hat: (@Septembers_Song) January 31, 2019
No doubt countless people across the world are now regretting their words, as they stay true to the nonchalant promises they never thought would have to keep:
"Sure I'll mow your lawn Tony - when hell freezes over," quipped Tony's neighbour.……
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