1) PRETEND THE WRONG RACE IS SEXY

Remember the kid that got picked to play last in the school playground?

That's everyone in the English Premier League, apart from Manchester City.

In fact, to stay with that school playground analogy, the old rules were each captain had a "pick" each, selecting the best players first, until the last kids standing were the ones with two left feet and that weird one who just spun around the pitch, chasing unicorns.

Well, that kid represents the other 19 clubs now. They're all chasing unicorns.

An exaggeration? Oleksandr Zinchenko, Aymeric Laporte, Nathan Ake, Benjamin Mendy, Ilkay Guendogan, Bernardo Silva, Fernandinho, Ferran Torres and Gabriel Jesus may not even make City's best XI.

And Pep Guardiola may even add a Harry Kane, just for fun.

So prepare for pundit comments like "well, the title race ended in February, but I haven't seen anything as sexy as this top-four race since Jack Grealish did a photo shoot in the bath".

2) GUARDIOLA'S ANNUAL BRAIN EXPLOSION

Superman had kryptonite. Guardiola has a decisive knockout game in the Champions League.

A chemical imbalance occurs in the brain.