Everyone has their own way of flirting, but could there be something different about the Singaporean approach?

A netizen recently took to Reddit to ask: “What is the Singaporean way of flirting?”

The OP continued by asking for “serious and realistic answers,” adding that they could already “smell the ai BTO mai (do you want to BTO?).” Spoiler alert: they got plenty of those answers anyway.

They also wondered if Singaporeans have any unique ways of flirting, saying that many young people might still be stuck in their “secondary school teasing phase”. Playing mobile games together, even in your early 20s, could be another “unique method”, they suggested.

Admitting that their own social circle might be “too vanilla”, they ended by asking other Singaporeans to share their experiences.

And many were more than happy to share some of the, well, unique methods they know.

One netizen joked that their go-to move is simply “staring awkwardly at someone and hoping they’re brave enough to make the first move”. Another agreed the tactic had worked for her “many times” as a woman, though she joked it might not be as effective for men.

Another simply wrote: “You just stare at them and they smile back then like that lor.”

Of course, plenty of commenters also shared their own very Singaporean takes on flirting, from asking if the other person wanted to get a BTO to joking about whether they wanted to “get baby bonus”.

But one commenter asserted: “BTOs are commitments. Please do not pull that off as a flirting tool.”

Is bringing up BTOs really a flirting move?

When one commenter joked, “Wait, Singaporeans flirt?”, another had a few thoughts on why that might be the case.

Based on personal experience, they said Singaporeans tend to be more direct and cautious when flirting, often sticking to straightforward compliments or simply asking someone to hang out. Western flirting, on the other hand, can feel more playful, witty and indirect, they pointed out. 

They also felt Singaporeans tend to be more realistic about relationships, with conversations about BTOs, careers and long-term plans sometimes coming up earlier. While that might take some of the fun out of dating, they believed directness could also have its benefits when it comes to honesty, stability and spotting red flags.

Another netizen echoed that Singaporean men tend to be less openly flirty because they're shy, but said they often show interest in quieter ways, like sharing food, driving over to pick their partner up or turning up at the airport no matter the time.

They recalled once leaving work 30 minutes early to pick up their girlfriend for a nail appointment when they had just started dating. He shared that she still calls it “one of the most romantic things they’ve done”, which they joked others might disagree with. 

To them, though, it’s a very Singaporean way of showing love.

Then there was a more earnest take on the topic. One commenter said flirting is mainly about seeing if there’s chemistry, while building a serious relationship is about courtship and getting to know each other’s values, interests, families and long-term goals.

They met their wife during post-university studies and started teasing each other while working on projects. From there, they went on dates, travelled together, met each other’s families and friends, and even did everyday things like grocery shopping and cooking. Sixteen years on, they still flirt by teasing each other and going on simple dates.

Their advice? “Don’t be mean,” keep teasing playful, and don’t use unhealthy habits like heavy drinking or overeating as a way to bond. If you’re serious about someone, they also suggested being upfront rather than dating a few people at once. 

Others agreed with the commenter’s take, saying it showed emotional maturity and that they were looking for something more long-term rather than just a short-term fling.

So, Singaporeans, what are your go-to flirting moves?

Photos: Reddit, cottonbro studio, Andy Lee/ Pexels