Every day, Julie Stammers kisses a framed photo in her hallway of her smiling son wearing his ­favourite hat – bought for him by his sister Cathy – and prays hewill come home soon.

It’s a ritual she has been performing for nearly 13 years, ever since she and her husband Rob last saw him on May 27, 2012, when he went to stay with a friend in London, the day before his grandfather’s funeral.

He’d promised to be back the next day, to go with his family to Colchester crematorium, where he was to give a reading. He even sent a text asking his parents to make sure his trousers were pressed, ready for the service. When Anthony failed to turn up for the funeral in Essex, they knew something was wrong.

Speaking to the Mirror from their home in Colchester on Wednesday, Anthony’s 40th birthday, Rob, 73, says: “The last 12 years or so have been ­absolute agony – his sister Catherine [45] and his brother James [43] miss him dreadfully.

“To say it was out of character for Anthony to not attend my dad’s funeral would be putting it mildly. He wasn’t in a good place after his grandfather passed and had been struggling to get steady work after leaving university. We don’t know for sure what happened but we think he took the funeral as an opportunity to go off somewhere. At first we thought he wanted some time to himself to get away from things.

Anthony's parents Julie and Rob have said they will never give up hope of finding him

“But then when he didn’t come home you don’t know what to think. It’s a mystery but we believe Anthony is still alive. You do think the worst at times but we’ve had no bad news, so we continue to look for him. Every time we go up to London, we’re always looking for him on the train and the Tube.

“He knew London very well, as he went to university in South London and had friends in East London, so most of the searches have covered this area. But he could be anywhere. He loved Ireland, particularly Giant’s Causeway. When we visited a couple of years before he went missing, he said he could do some great writing among the beautiful scenery. He’d just finished writing a book and making his first album, he’s very talented.”

Rob and Julie, who are receiving support from charity Missing People, which has helped by putting up posters of Anthony and being there to listen on the phone 24 hours a day, say landmarks like birthdays are particularly tough. Julie adds: “It feels like my heart is breaking into so many pieces. I can’t celebrate with him because I don’t know where he is.

“Even though he’s 40, he’s still my baby. It would just be so wonderful to be able to celebrate his birthday with him and have him home for Christmas. Obviously, we love having our other children around and we’ve just become grandparents this year. But it’s a tough time with mixed emotions.

“Just a couple of days ago, there was a chap across the road from our house at a bus stop. I was just staring at him and had to go over and apologise and say, ‘I’m so sorry for staring at you, you look like my son’. It’s exhausting. Some days I don’t feel like getting up but say to myself, ‘Today’s the day we might find him’, so get on with it’.”

Rob says it doesn’t get any easier no matter how long a loved one has been missing, and Christmas is a hard time. He adds: “Not only is his birthday so close to Christmas but he was brought home from the hospital on Christmas Day.” Rob and Julie will never give up hope they’ll see Anthony again and have launched a video appeal in conjunction with the Mirror’s Missing People campaign.

How to donate to Missing People 

Donate online: Visit this link or head to www.missingpeople.org.uk/mirror - read why we're supporting this campaign here.

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Terms & Conditions: *Text costs £5/£10 or £15 plus network charge. Missing People receives 100% of your donation. Obtain bill payer’s permission. Charity No England and Wales: 1020419, Scotland: SC047419. Missing People will send regular updates via text and may contact you at any time to ask for your contact preference.

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How your donation will help: £5 could help a missing child reach support - 11 could answer an urgent Helpline call from someone who is missing - £33 could give three families advice and help from a Support Worker - £110 could pay for two vital Counselling sessions to help a family to cope with the toughest of all losses

How to contact Missing People - free and confidential: Call: 116 000. Text: 116 000. Email: 116000@missingpeople.org.uk

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In it, Rob says people can help by downloading the poster of Anthony from the Missing People website. He pleads: “If they see anything they believe would help us, contact us, the charity, the police, anonymously if they want to.” Julie adds: “However minor they think what they have to say is, it might be important. Anthony, if you see or read this, I want you to know we love you so much and miss you.

“So do Cathy and James and all your friends, and now you’ve a beautiful little niece. You’ve done nothing wrong, we just want you home.”

When Anthony left the family home he was carrying a large record bag filled with books and later withdrew £140 from his account. His bank account has not been touched since and although police have followed up potential sightings in Colchester, Doncaster and London, it has not led to new lines of inquiry.

Anthony’s phone has not been used since he vanished and there are no CCTV images of him at nearby bus or train stations. Essex Police said: “Thirty detectives were involved at the height of the search. Despite their efforts, the search was scaled back and subsequently ceased.

“Anthony is 5ft 10ins, of medium build, with short, dark-brown hair, although he may now have longer hair and could also have a beard. He was last seen wearing blue jeans, a red and blue checked shirt, and may have been wearing a black baseball cap and beige jacket. Anyone with information should call Essex Police on 101.”