For women, having an orgasm can be tricky business — and certainly a bit more complex than it is for most men. We can thank biology for that one in addition to patriarchal, heteronormative cultural forces that have historically prioritized men’s pleasure over women’s.

“The orgasm gap is still very real today, and studies show that only about 18-20% of women climax from penetration alone,” Kate Kozlova, resident sex expert at Luxus, tells SheKnows. That means it’s a completely normal struggle — but many women still feel like something is wrong with them if they can’t orgasm from penetration alone. “While everyone with a vulva is capable of orgasm, porn and pop culture have conditioned us to believe that it’s some instant phenomenon that always arises from penetration,” Kozlova explains. “In reality, women can take longer to experience full arousal, and often need foreplay and clitoral stimulation to get there.”

That disconnect between what we’ve been told and how our bodies actually work can lead many women to fake it, either to avoid awkward conversations or to protect a partner’s ego. But Kozlova is quick to point out that there’s nothing broken about a body that doesn’t climax on command.

Several factors can affect your ability to orgasm, from dehydration and medications to pelvic floor tension and reduced blood flow. The mental load many women carry — stress, body image issues, fear of vulnerability — can also get in the way of feeling present and connected to pleasure.

“If you have trouble reaching the big O, masturbation can be a powerful tool to help you learn more about your body,” Kozlova says. “It can help you understand what feels good, feel more confident guiding a partner, and overall feel more pleasure with another person.”

She also notes that choosing the right position can also be helpful and boost your chances of having an orgasm, especially when paired with foreplay.

Alicia Sinclair, sex educator, founder and CEO ofLe Wand, says the best sex positions for women to achieve orgasm are those that acknowledge women as active participants in their own pleasure, regardless of who they’re sleeping with. “Whether you’re with a long-term partner who knows your body well or exploring with someone new, these positions give you the agency to get what you need,” she says. “The best sex happens when we stop waiting for orgasms to happen to us and start making them happen for ourselves.”

To that end, below you’ll find five sex positions, courtesy of sex therapist Marissa Nelson, that are geared toward serious clitoral stimulation. Because while we won’t argue that sex for the sake of connection isn’t fun and all, sometimes a woman just needs to cross the finish line. So let’s all do our part to close the gap!

69

Image: Jenny Yuen

How to do it: The receiving partner lies on their back while their partner positions themselves on top, facing the opposite direction. “This works beautifully whether your partner is going down on you or you’re grinding against a strap-on,” Sinclair says.

Why it’s great: “Woman-on-top 69 is a game-changer because you’re in the driver’s seat,” Sinclair says. “Whether your partner is using their tongue or you’re controlling the pressure against a strap-on, you can rock, grind, and adjust the angle until it’s perfect. Many women discover they can reach orgasm much faster when they stop trying to ‘receive’ pleasure and start actively creating it through movement.”

“An oldie but always goodie, 69 is a position that couples find to be super-pleasurable, but somehow don’t do enough,” adds Nelson. “Woman-on-top 69 gives freedom to move your clitoris and position yourself for optimum orgasm. It’s always great for both partners to be experiencing pleasure at the same time.” You can also mix things up with a few variations on 69, if you so desire.

Leg-glider

Image: Jenny Yuen

How to do it: Lie on your side with legs slightly bent while your partner enters from behind — whether with a penis, strap-on, or fingers — while reaching around to stimulate your clitoris.

Why it’s great: “The Leg Glider is brilliant for dual stimulation, and it works regardless of what your partner is using for penetration,” Sinclair explains. “The angle naturally hits the G-spot while leaving your partner’s hands completely free for clitoral play. I often recommend this to couples who want to experience blended orgasms, which tend to be more intense and full-body than clitoral-only climaxes.”

“This is a fantastic position for the partner to hit both the G-spot and stimulate the clitoris simultaneously,” says Nelson.

Side-to-side

Image: Jenny Yuen

How to do it: Face each other lying on your sides, with one leg wrapped over your partner’s hip. This creates intimate contact while allowing for grinding and sustained clitoral pressure.

Why it’s great: “Side-to-side is incredibly intimate and works beautifully for all types of couples,” Sinclair says. “The key is using your partner’s body—their pubic bone, thigh, or shaft—as a grinding surface for consistent clitoral stimulation. This position is perfect for women who need that sustained, rhythmic pressure rather than quick, intense stimulation. Plus, the eye contact and closeness can be incredibly arousing.”

“This is a great position for intimacy,” confirms Nelson. “You can hold each other close and grind in unison, and women can stimulate their clits using the shaft or tip of the partner’s penis or strap-on.”

Fusion

Image: Jenny Yuen

How to do it: Straddle your partner while they lie down, giving you complete control over depth, angle, and speed. You can stimulate your own clitoris or have your partner help while you move.

Why it’s great: “Fusion is about female empowerment in the bedroom,” Sinclair says. “You control everything—the pace, the depth, the angle. This works whether your partner has a penis, is wearing a strap-on, or you’re grinding against their body. Many women find this position liberating because they can focus entirely on their own pleasure without worrying about their partner’s rhythm or preferences.”

“Female partners can stimulate themselves by rubbing the clitoris on their partner’s stomach and/or shaft of the penis,” says Nelson. “You can also control of the depth of penetration so you can do what feels best to you and set the pace. Partners can finger or stimulate you during penetration or you can self-pleasure.”

Eve’s ecstasy

Image: Jenny Yuen

How to do it: Position yourself above your partner’s face, allowing you to control the pressure and movement while they provide oral stimulation.

Why it’s great: “Eve’s Ecstasy puts you in complete control of your orgasm,” Sinclair explains. “You can rock, grind, and adjust pressure exactly how you need it. This eliminates the guesswork for your partner and the frustration of almost-but-not-quite stimulation. It’s particularly powerful for women who know exactly what they need but have trouble communicating it—your body language says it all.”

“While the partner gives oral sex, the lover on top can move and grind their pelvis to control stimulation and ultimately make themselves orgasm,” says Nelson.

Originally posted on StyleCaster.

Before you go, read more about all the kinds of orgasms you’re capable of: