real talk

An Unexpected Upside Of Divorce? Scheduled Alone Time

And I don’t feel guilty about it anymore.

by Molly Wadzeck

17 hours ago

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The first night my kids went to their dad’s house, I sat on the couch and sobbed, scrolling through years of photos and videos on my phone. The silence was deafening, the absence unbearable. I didn’t know what to do if I couldn’t tuck them into bed, read to them, be there in the middle of the night if they woke up with nightmares or illness. Every part of me ached to have them back. But beneath the grief, something else flickered: relief.

For the first time in over a decade of parenting, I was completely, unequivocally alone. No bedtime routines, no midnight wake-ups, no arguments over screen-time or who gets to sit in the front of the car this time. And then came the guilt, swift and punishing. What kind of mother enjoys time away from her kids under the circumstances of divorce?

Before I separated from my ex, I rarely had time to myself. I was the default parent, the stay-at-home mom. If I left the house alone, it was for a dentist appointment. Rare grocery trips without them were framed as little vacations. Even when I longed for a real break, it came at a cost: resentment, guilt, a sense that I was shirking something sacred.