I and my partner have been together for almost 3 years, and I don’t want to go on a date with him soon or go on holiday with him for her birthday.

I know that sounds bad but it isn’t because I don’t want to spend time with him or I wouldn’t enjoy it. It’s because of her parents, specifically her mum.

Despite for the last two years, me having the jobs and the money, and buying most things, she thinks I’m the gold digger. My partner hasn’t had a job those two years, we were in uni at the time so I got part time jobs. She didn’t have to. She’s now graduated (I haven’t) as her course was shorter and now has a good job with a good starting salary where we live.

Due to me not being able to find a job despite trying, and her had a degree to now have thay job, she’s been calling me a gold digger, that it won’t last, and such like that. I haven’t asked her for money, and for my birthday, it was expensive but I paid half with the money I had. I didn’t ask her to pay for more than her share due to my limited income and we’d agreed on this. My family actually paid for her ticket and stay. He just had to pay for her food and second ticket. I paid for my half and my ticket too.

Anyway, my partner works 6 days a week usually but her work has now changed her timetable to her now worked 5 days a week. Her days off now match up with my timetable, so we wanted to go on a date this Sunday coming.

At first I wanted to, but it hit me about how her mother sees me. So I started to be hesitant. She assured me it was fine but I realised she already raised this concern as she told me she had to tell her she wanted to go.

I know I shouldn’t be hung up on what she thinks but I want to make this work, long term so I should and try my best not to make her hate me. If she’s this pushy about a dinner date (we haven’t been on a date in almost a year) then she definitely won’t like the holiday he wants us to go on, which will cost over a grand and a half for 6 days.

She’s upset I don’t want to go, but I feel scared with how she sees it and blame me. She always hounds her about it which stresses her out. I don’t want to make her hate me more or make him stressed.