I’ll do this in point form because it’s a long story. It’s about my (25F) boyfriend’s worsening lying habits (26M). Here are the events that have happened this year only, although we’ve been together for 4 years and it’s all really good up until this year:

Early this year he lied to me about drinking with 3 female colleagues, saying he’s eating at a normal restaurant with a different bunch of people instead. His reason was that he didn’t want me to overreact and the lie was to protect me.

Around mid year i saw TEN Singaporean influencers on his Instagram search history. They’re all super slim but curvy Chinese girls, and I’m not even Chinese. I’m half Caucasian half Malay, so it makes me think if he’s bored of me? Him and his one ex are Chinese. So, he was showing me something on Instagram and his LONG search history accidentally came up. I was shocked – how does he even remember all their usernames? Confronted him and he initially tried to cover it up but then he knew there’s no way out of it, so he apologised. He said he was “feeling it” even though we have s- twice a week. I told him it’s fine to watch p- and search up overseas influencers, but not Singaporean influencers because it hits too close to home. And some of those influencers were his seniors in university. I told him this is the last straw, if he lies to me for the third time, we are breaking up. He believed me and promised he won’t search local influencers anymore because he doesn’t want to jeopardise our relationship.

Today, I did what I’m not supposed to do. I had a bad feeling so I logged into his Instagram account and saw that he searched local influencers again, behind my back, despite his promise. Same type – slim and curvy Chinese girls..

What should I do? He doesn’t know that i know. If I truly follow my own word, I should break up with him. But he’s a very loving and good guy, and we were gonna get engaged next year and married the year after that. No real problems in our relationship except for his recent lying habits this year. If I tell him, he’ll know I logged into his Instagram account. And then if he cheats on me, how will i know?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks guys!

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