SINGAPORE - An elderly mother was left penniless and homeless after she sold her house to live with her only son who promised to take care of her, but he disappeared after pocketing the sales proceeds. 

A woman in her 70s handed her ATM card to her son to help her withdraw money as she has mobility issues – only to find that he took at least $20,000 to $30,000 from the account without her consent, leaving her with almost nothing.

Social workers and lawyers told The Straits Times they have seen such cases of seniors financially abused by loved ones, and that elder financial abuse remains a hidden, under-reported problem.

A Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) spokeswoman told ST that it is

Financial abuse remains a concern, especially among the elderly, she said.

Such cases include adult children forcing their parents to monetise their assets for the children’s benefit, and withdrawing money from their parents’ bank accounts without their knowledge.

In some cases, the perpetrator turned violent.

The MSF spokeswoman said that frontline professionals, such as banking staff, are guided to spot financial abuse when dealing with customers. 

In certain circumstances, this can lead to civil claims for the victims, or even criminal liability for the perpetrators.

The Association of Banks in Singapore and the major banks are currently developing industry guidelines to better protect elderly clients from being abused financially by their loved ones.

Seniors tend to suffer financial exploitation in silence

Abusers are often the seniors’ children, though spouses, grandchildren, siblings and other relatives may also be the perpetrators, said social workers and lawyers.

Seniors usually stay silent until the abuse becomes unbearable, or they fear for their own safety.

Some speak up only when they discover their savings are gone and they then confide in another family member, said lawyer Chong Yue-En.

Mr Chong, managing director of law firm Bethel Chambers, said: “Sometimes the perpetrator is also the main caregiver of the victim, and the victim feels very awkward to confront their caregiver. 

“They fear losing this relationship because they are afraid that no one else would care for them.”

No senior ST approached was willing to be interviewed.

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Mr Tan Kheng Chuan, principal social worker from THK Family Service Centre @ Jurong, noted that many keep mum out of shame, guilt about implicating loved ones or fear of the consequences, such as getting their children into trouble with the law. 

Ms Soh Siew Fong, director of clinical services at social service agency Pave Integrated Services, said: “One senior told my colleague she would rather die at her child’s hands than to report him to the police.”

Usually, it is the other children, relatives or neighbours who report the abuse or seek help, social workers say. 

In a survey of almost 300 community care professionals, such as nurses, therapists and counsellors, about their capabilities in handling elder abuse, only 28 per cent felt knowledgeable about elder abuse.

Over half of them said they had no prior training to handle such cases.

The study by Thye Hua Kwan Moral Charities (THKMC) was published in the Journal of Gerontological Social Work in June.

Respondents also cited seniors’ reluctance to speak up or denial of the abuse as barriers they face in handling such cases.

Mr Martin Chok, Care Corner Singapore’s deputy director of family and community services, said for some seniors, the abuse go on for years.

“And the parents try to normalise it, like they have to provide for their child. Some parents see this as their fate.” 

He said that Care Corner Project Start, which specialises in managing family violence, saw about 20 to 25 elder abuse cases in 2024. These included financial and other forms of abuse.

How financial abuse happens

Harassing, hitting the senior

Mr Chok said one son demanded money from his elderly mother for years. Once, he punched her in the face after she threatened to stop paying his phone bills, and another time he hit her “badly” after she refused to pay for a sports class for him. Her neighbour called the police after she screamed for help.

Withdrawing funds without consent

A common scenario is when a senior entrusts his or her ATM card to a loved one to help them withdraw money as they are frail or have mobility issues, or they hold a joint account with their child. Their loved one then takes the senior’s money without his or her knowledge or consent for their own use.

In one case, a widower in his 80s handed his ATM card to a relative’s partner to help him buy meals. He later found just $1 left in his account – the partner had taken tens of thousands of dollars. Ms Violet Yang, head of Touch Community Case Management at Touch Community Services, said they reported the case to the MSF, and it is being investigated by the authorities.

Tricked into selling property

Pave’s Ms Soh has helped a woman in her 70s whose only son promised to take care of her after she sold her landed property, but disappeared after he took the sales proceeds. The mother had to be placed in a home for low-income seniors with no alternative living arrangements. Ms Soh said: “She became penniless and homeless, and was really abandoned. She was devastated. She trusted her son, and he did this to her.”

Control and isolation

One elderly woman’s husband took her bank card, phone and house keys, said Ms Goh Qian Hui, community law advocate at Pro Bono SG. He also cut her off from medical care despite her deteriorating health, and limited the time she spent with her children. Ms Goh advised the woman’s children to obtain protection orders for her and to apply to the courts to act as their mother’s deputy to manage her finances.

Lawyer Low Seow Ling of Emre Legal said most seniors do not pursue legal action against their children.

One difficulty is proving that the withdrawal of money from their bank account was unauthorised, especially if they have a joint account with their child, or they handed to their child their ATM card.

Ms Low said: “I don’t think any parent wants to bring their child to court.

 “Some adult children feel they are entitled to their parents’ money, since they are taking care of their parents. Or they will inherit it after their parents die.”

The Law Ministry’s Legal Aid Bureau (LAB), which provides legal aid to lower-income Singaporeans and permanent residents, handles about five cases a year of seniors who have been financially abused by a loved one. These include disputes over shares in jointly owned property or assets.

A spokesperson for the ministry said of the disputes: “It is observed the family usually makes financial arrangements for their mutual benefit at the beginning, with disputes arising further down the line for various reasons, which often results in relationships souring.”

LAB has helped seniors obtain legal representation to recover misappropriated funds and property. This is usually through a negotiated settlement, rather than court action, said the spokesperson.

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In one case cited by Minister for Home Affairs K. Shanmugam in Parliament in 2024, LAB helped a 101-year-old woman reclaim her life savings from her daughter.

The centenarian had been put in a nursing home by her daughter, who withdrew money from her mother’s bank account and directed her government financial assistance payouts to her own account.

The daughter claimed her mother had no mental capacity and refused to return the money. The mother checked herself out of the nursing home, and asked the LAB for help.

Mr Shanmugam said LAB helped her to secure a court order for her daughter to return all her money with interest.

Ms Soh said: “Some seniors suffer from depression or become very anxious because of their child’s harassment. Some even think of suicide.

“They suffer in silence, even if it affects them so badly.”