I (f29) hate wearing rings and don’t want to wear my engagement ring. My (m30) fiancé is extremely hurt by thisI hate wearing rings and bracelets. They’re always uncomfortable to me and I can’t wear one for longer than a day before it starts to seriously impact my mood (I became really annoyed at everything / get angrier easier). I suspect I might have Aspergers or something because this is not the only sensory issue I have.

Everyone knows that I hate hand jewelry, including my fiancé. We’ve been dating for three years and he proposed a few months ago. When he proposed, he used a ring that’s been passed down in his family, and idk why I just kind of assumed it was more symbolic than anything else. Now though he’s really upset I don’t want to wear it. I offered to wear it on a necklace, but since it’s designed to be a ring the stone scratches my skin and is still very uncomfortable. I have very sensitive skin, and by the end of the day there’s a bunch of red scratches from where it irritated my skin.

I told him that he knows that I can’t wear rings or bracelets, but he said he thought I’d be able to put it aside for him. I really can’t imagine wearing the ring for the rest of my life, I tried to wear it for him but after a few days everyone was remarking that I was acting really aggressive and snapping at everyone. I just hate the feeling of wearing it so much. It’s hard for me to enjoy anything with it on.

My fiancé thinks this symbolizes that I don’t want to be with him or something. We’ve been struggling to find a compromise because he wants me to at least have the ring on my body because it’s significant to him and his family, and also doesn’t want to have it reworked so it’s more comfortable as a necklace. He’s really hurt I don’t want to wear it, and even said it makes him think I don’t want people to know I’m getting married.

Update

We broke up.

I brought up all the suggestions that the comments said, get it reworked into a more comfortable necklace, put it in a plastic container on a necklace so it wouldn’t have to be reworked, get a tattoo, all of it. He refused to hear it. The ring has been in his family for four generations and is extremely meaningful to him, so he did not want any compromise.

He also didn’t like that I would be married without a ring. He said it makes me look like I’m trying to hide the fact I’m going to be married or that I have a fiancé, and insinuated that I was cheating on him, which really hurt my feelings.

Two days ago I decided to try to wear the ring again to see if explore therapy would work or something. It did not work at all, all day at work I was distracted and uptight because it was on, and by the time I got home I felt extremely distressed and upset.

When I got home that day I was ready to just collapse on the couch, but my SIL and fiancé were home. I was not expecting my sil to be there.

Apparantly it’s tradition to throw a surprise party for engaged couples in my fiancés family. The bride is taken out to get her nails done with the women of the family, get beautified or something, and then meets the groom and the rest of the family at a random family members house for a party.

I hate surprises and I hate parties. I asked my fiancé why he didn’t warn me and he just said he didn’t want to ruin the surprise.

My sil knew that I didn’t like shopping, and so she had already gotten me a dress to change into for the event after we got our nails done. It was a very sweet and thoughtful thing to do, but it was covered in sequins and had beads hanging from the bottom which I already knew would make my sensory issues go crazy. My fiancé must have seen my face when I saw it, because he texted me that he would be reallly upset if I disrespected his sister by not wearing the dress.

By the time I got to the party I felt like a robot from how much I was shutting down. I still had the ring on too along with the dress, so I was just doing everything in my power to not start crying or have some sort of freak out.

A couple hours pass and I’m still feeling terrible, and then his cousin grabs my waist from behind to move me out of the way.

I hate being touched so much. I hate hate hate it I can hardly stand it on a good day. I screamed and I just couldn’t stop screaming and crying. His entire family just watched me shocked. My fiancé pulled outside and into the car and drove me home and was yelling at me the whole time, which made it worse.

The next morning he demanded an apology. I was so tired and exhausted and I just thought “what am I doing this for? Is this who I want to spend my life with?”

So I dumped him . I feel so light and free for the first time in forever. And now I don’t have to wear his stupid ring .