5 years ago I’ve decided to study a second diploma through a career conversion programme(2years course). I applied for a sponsorship and to be able to go through with it, I needed 2 guarantors who has a pay grade of above $3k.

Not many of my close friends have reached that kind of pay grade. So I had to reach out to my uncle and cousin as per my mom’s advice. They agreed to it and during the signing we asked all the questions regarding bond breaking. From if I were to get married or get pregnant, does it affect my bond or sponsorship, and the company states that all of that is fine. I may be able to defer if needed.

A year into studying, me and my then boyfriend(now husband) of 10 years decided to get married during my school break of 2 weeks. For a 2 year course, we had no long term break of months. I found out that I had to serve my work bond right after graduation. I have no idea how it’ll work once I start working, when will I be able to apply leave and what not.

My cousin and uncle were upset about my decision to get married and wanted to withdraw from being my guarantors. Reason: afraid I’ll break my bond and I won’t be able to focus on my studies. If I were to be pregnant, I won’t want to study anymore and focus on my child that kind of thing. Anything can happen they say. Even though I told them I won’t let my studies be affected. They’re not convinced.

My cousin then kept pestering me to inform my HR for the withdrawal form. I told her to give me some time as I need to find new guarantors. Like pester me every week with texts. Even met me with my boyfriend and kept insisting that they can’t wait. Thankfully my bf parents are willing to be my guarantors and they’re super supportive of us. HR has their own work to do and it took them a while to process the withdrawal and to set up another date for new guarantors signing.

When I finally wanted to give my cousin and uncle the withdrawal forms, they kept making excuses to not meet me which baffles me as weren’t they the one who wanted this? It took a lot of chasing my cousin for the signature and it ended on a bad note. My cousin then distant herself from me and my family and my mom blames me for it. Mom wanted me to apologise to my cousin. Like whaaaaat?

She didn’t RSVP to my wedding. My husband do not like her ever since our meet up the first time. Fast forward, I graduated with 3.2 GPA(not that high but I am grateful). We have a 2 year old now and my cousin reappeared acting like nothing happened and kept wanting our child to like and want her. We’re disgusted by her behaviour. Seems fake to us. My mom is glad she’s back though. But every time she gets close to me and our child, just triggers me.