Discovered recently that my spouse cheated on me on two separate occasions this year. Both eventually led to scams, which is probably why it didn’t get physical but for the second occasion, he had been making plans to meet with the girl and had lied to me about it, telling me he was meeting his friends.

1st time – i actually discovered this earlier this year when I discovered that he had been scammed. he told me a version of the story back then, which was that his cloud got hacked and he got blackmailed with a video that he took of himself in a compromising position for himself.

Found out that this was not the truth. he had been flirting with a girl who chatted him up on Facebook. it led to a video call where they were going to watch each other showering etc. he said it didn’t go further than him stripping and showing his junk cos the video call got cut off for blackmail.

2nd time – discovered this recently when i saw him chatting with someone i did not recognize on whatsapp and i asked him who that was, then he told me what happened. he had been chatting/flirting with someone who approached him first on facebook, on whatsapp.

briefly scrolled through the messages, he mentioned to this person that he was married but can be “friends”. however continued to flirt and sending pics of himself (selfies etc). he also lied to me that he was going to meet his friends but had intended to meet her. eventually he did not, since scammers dont meet, and he got scammed by one of those job referral type scams.

to me, this is clearly cheating. but he did not admit to cheating until days later, just said that he was wrong according to my standards. also, he did not tell me the entire truth about the 1st time (said it was a guy, but after i asked him if this was true, he admitted it was not and it had been a girl). he says he is sorry and wants to work things out.

other info: he is diagnosed with depression for about 3-4 years now. we do not have kids and i am not financially dependant on him.

i am not sure if i should give him a chance, right now i’m about 50/50. any advice appreciated