I don’t know if this is fate that I have been in that situation or is it we are just different people.

I have a very loving boyfriend, we have been in our relationship for a year and a half. We are an LDR couple, we tried to make things work but our viewpoints were so different, despite that my bf tried to reassure us that we will work it out. I go over to SG thrice to see him and he couldn’t come to see me in MY due to he will be serving army soon.

I did told my bf ‘why cant you be better?’ a few days ago before i left SG. We love each other and i know we are toxic to each other. I think what made me traumatize and hurt the most was;

1. When he cheated on me with another girl while i was sleeping to go to work everyday to earn money to go to SG. He wouldnt admit he cheated, his friends were giving me hints and would seal their mouth shut when i asked if there was a girl playing games and spending time with him. He and his friends would deny about it until i found out 2 months later, that they had a secret discord and he would flirt with her on DM despite reassuring me he didnt talk to any girls. When i confronted him, he denied so hard but all i had was all the proof and that scarred me, the person i loved the most betrayed me. In the end, he admitted that he cheated because he was lonely when i went to work but wasnt convinced until i use his reactivated ig to ask his friends to vote if it was cheating? And 70% said yes. I couldnt forgive nor forget, it haunts me until today but i tried my best not to bring it up anymore.

2. He didnt respect or support my decision for choosing a career that was my dream (top ranking company) in SG soon. He wanted me to choose a career he wanted for me to stay in SG. While he play video games everyday and does not bother to work nor chip in for me to SG to see him, he kept pestering to quit my job and go to SG while i was working on my promotion and end up lost it to my colleague. My efficiency went down from 100 to 10 because i had to entertain him during work. I had to bear alot of finances to see him until i didn’t eat on some days.

3. We talked to compromise on things we hate that we wouldnt do to each other but in the end he repeats and kept asking me for another chance, promises he would do it again and would say he needs time or trying to change. I do admit i do have an ego stating if he doesnt change why should i? But ultimately i eliminated that thought and reflect alot on myself.

4. When we quarrel, he would always end up not trying to resolve, always walking away saying ‘ im done’, ‘im not talking to you’, ‘shut up’ and cursing all sort of words to me ‘slut’ ‘whore’ ‘dogshit’, don’t even bother if i cried but these days he changed to stick to me, talk it out and control his anger which is an improvement and id really appreciate it.

5. When we were building trust with one another after the cheating incident, i found out next was his IG, following mutual friends girls recently, liking, commenting ‘cute’ ‘pretty’ ‘sexy’ ‘peach emoji’ ‘i love ur ****’ while when i post something, he doesnt comment as such compliments to me nor pay attention to any of my social media even if i post about us together. He couldnt control his hormones, decided it was best he choose to deactivate the account to work on our relationship.

I do say hurtful things to him and sometimes i regret and dont mean it we would always say sorry and resolve it in the end. Maybe question yourself on what did you do to her? Give her some reassurance, listen to her and reflect on what could make the relationship work if you still want her. I know alot of people would probs just ask me to break up for the easy way out but i choose to mend the relationship with my bf even with all these challenges and not all relationship is perfect.