This is a story that I never told anyone which i should be ashamed but isn’t.

I was 15 when I first met him while playing ml. He was 29. We got matched in the classic game and my stupid ass think he was a god for having 30/1. so i added him and invite him to another game. he ended up with some 20+/0.

I eventually got him to mentor me after pestering on in game chat, hearing his voice the first time made my heart skipped. I would wait for him to get online everyday so I could play with him and listen to his voice. Eventually we started talking on whatsapp. One day i received a text to stay clear of him, it was only then that i knew he had a gf, my heart sank. We didn’t flirt or anything, to me he was that invincible senpai that i admire. i blocked him everywhere the next day.

During my 16th birthday, he texted me, happy birthday in ml. I joked that i wanted a meal for present. we met the very first time in real life after school. he took me to swenson, which to me is like the mother of all restaurant.(I apologize for my 16 year old self) i sat across him, getting a good look at him, it’s great to finally put a face to his voice. He looked like a nerdy Fresh Grad Teacher and yeah that’s like my weakness? We had our meal and catch up a lot on our lives.

After Lunch, he send me home. I don’t know what got over me but i kissed him on the lips for the first time at the lift lobby upon realizing what i had done i ran up the stairs back home and blocked him again.

I kept thinking about the kiss for the next one year and eventually got into JC. Again on my birthday he texted me happy birthday again. But I did not reply because I stalk him on his ig to know that he’s still attached and I didn’t want break their relationship of 5 years.

Extremely stressed over my A lvl and also completely couldn’t get over him, I told myself that if he texted me on my birthday i would hook up to him and get him out of my system. If he doesn’t then i’ll completely give up on him. I know it’s morally wrong to hook up with someone with a gf but it’s driving me crazy. I waited everyday for that day to come reminding myself of what i promised myself.

He did message me Happy birthday. so I took the chance to invite him to repair my computer. (i know it’s a lame excuse i was 18). i met him on the following thursday at noon after school. Upon entering my house, i bolted the door, scaring my parents might come home early. i led him to my room which i locked the door behind. I pushed him onto the bed and after a short persuasion he eventually fell for the temptation.

We agree to keep it physical and behind his gf for a Year. Fast forward, I enjoyed every moment that I spent with him, the memories we had will always be precious. I’ve since return him to his gf as promised and cut ties.

I am 21 now, it’s been two years since he last wish me happy birthday. Even though i misses him, i’ve gotten him out of my system, some part of me still wants him but it’s not that strong. i sometime wonder if I’ll ever find another guy like him.

Dear Ed*****,

I never regretted being yours, I’m glad that it was you. Thank you for fulfilling my unreasonable request. I just wish you’d say happy birthday to me next year. Hope you stay with your gf forever!

Dear GF,

Sorry for stealing your bf for an entire year. I know i’m selfish, but i hope you’ll never find out. if you do, please forgive him.