I’m currently dating a teacher for about 2 years, who is 3 years into the job (after PGDE). While we really love each other and are serious about one another, I’m a bit uncertain about our future together due to her workload and commitment to work.

Here is a sample of her average day:

Wake up at 540amLeave house at 630amReach school by 710amTeach classes till 130-2pmCCA/ remedials/ meetings/ misc things till 530pm, leave schoolDabao, Reach home at 630pmEat dinner and chill to 8pmMarking from 8 to 1130pmShower, etc, till 1230pmCatch up on emails till 1am then sleep

So based on that, she works maybe 14-15 hours every weekday with just 4.5hrs of sleep and a good day every weekend just to catch up on work that couldn’t be completed and lesson plans. Based on her salary, it’s just ridiculous how much she has to work for that – Retail and F&B workers are better paid hourly than her.

I’ve been getting into fights with her and telling her that her lifestyle and is unsustainable as it’ll lead to big burnouts and her health will suffer. On the flip end, she says that I’m not a teacher and I’d never understand her line of work.

Also, I realised that a lot of her teacher friends (female), are single well into late 30s and 40s – which I guess its due to their teaching lifestyle. On the flip end, most women I know from my line of work (private) are married by their late 30s.

I sincerely hope MOE can do something to lighten teacher’s workloads. While that is wishful thinking, I’m wondering if I could get any advice on how to move forward…or move on.

Frankly I although I love her a lot, she had made it clear that her priority is to be a good teacher. So at the back of my mind, there is always this feeling that she loves teaching more than me.

Also, although we both agreed on having children, based on her workload, I don’t see how we would be able to manage as I’m afraid she’ll leave majority of the child rearing to me while she continues her passion. My job is way less tiring than hers and honestly I’m earning more than double of her – and in order for me to climb more, I need her to do her fair share of child rearing. I’ve mentioned to her that if we got married, I’d like for her to take a step back from her overloaded schedule and this was utterly shot down and more quarrels ensured.

So now I’m at a crossroads – should I push on and try to make things work, or try to move on to find someone who able to be more family oriented?

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