My SO (32F) owes me (30M) money and doesn’t seem to care.

I have a remote sales/engineering job and she works in software. We do not live together mostly because of the way she treats me financially, I have not raised this as a reason to her. She also has a 12 year old.

We’ve been dating for about 10 months. Last month, she came to me and told me she was going to have the power to her home cut off over unpaid bills of almost $1100. I offered to lend her the money, she agreed and gave me a date she’d start paying me back by.

That date was about 2 weeks ago and she’s made no effort to pay me and hasn’t mentioned it since.

She’s also suggested numerous times we go out and do stuff, which I invariably end up paying for. She also seems to plan her visits to my place so that her kid (12) will get hungry and start asking about dinner; he then refuses anything I offer to make and whines until I order takeout.

I’m really sick of this, I perceive it as being used, and I’m considering leaving the relationship and cutting my losses.

First I feel like I should try to bring it up in good faith with her, but I am not sure how I can do that without coming off overly confrontational. Any advice on how to discuss this would be very welcome.

Netizens’ comments

Well first you need to mention the loan to her. Second…stop caving and ordering food. You are 30 you can say no. Cook at home and if she insists on take out..she can order and pay for it. Personally I think she’s using you for some easy money/food but who knows.

She’s totally playing you. $1100 for a utility bill? Come on…

You’ve been dating for 10 months?!Dude, leave. 10 months of your life is nothing in comparison to the years you’ll have to put up with being, essentially, her sugar daddy.Also, $1100 in power alone? Sounds fishy to me.Furthermore, don’t give that little brat anything. As single father of 3 who has attempted to date I would be incredibly disappointed and embarrassed if my children pitched a fit at somebody else’s house after being offered free food.Honestly man, it sounds like you’re being used.