It is 3.30pm at Cafe Bistrot David in Taman Tun Dr Ismail. The restaurant is closed for a short break and aside from the quiet chatter of the staff, it is near-silent.

The calm is interrupted by the raucous, joyous laughter of children bursting through the doors of the eatery. “How dare you!” says six-year-old Hayley Chin loudly to her father, Brian Chin. Her face radiates indignation, her long hair swaying as she shakes her head with determination.

Her eight-year-old brother, Brandon Chin, meanwhile, giggles along with his sister before flashing an irresistibly impish grin.

Ever patient and indulgent, Brian gently settles his children at a table at the restaurant, unpacking a medley of colouring books and activity packs for his offspring to occupy themselves while he works.

“No matter what, every day I try to spend at least one hour with my children. So sometimes they will come here or to Dave’s Deli and we’ll have tea time together or a meal together. Because that’s when we can really connect,” he says.

Brian (right) often has his children Hayley and Brandon and his wife Honey come to one of his restaurants so they can all bond over a shared meal. — ART CHEN/The Star

Brian is a seasoned F&B entrepreneur who manages a whole slew of restaurants in his family’s F&B empire, including Dave’s Deli and Café Bistrot David, to name a few. He is also a doting father to his two children and a devoted husband to his wife, Honey Leong.

So just how does he manage it all? Well, it’s been quite the journey of discovery, he says.

For many busy chefs and restaurant owners, juggling fatherhood and a restaurant career is no mean feat. The restaurant business is notorious for commanding long hours, which can regularly include 12-to-14-hour days. Chefs and restaurant owners also work most weekends and public holidays and rarely get much time off, which makes spending time with their families that much harder.

And yet, many have found that with a little creativity and a whole lot of delegation, it can be done.

Life before and after

For many restaurateurs and chefs, life before and after having kids couldn’t be more different.

Brian, for instance, grew up in the restaurant business (his father David Chin started Dave’s Deli when Brian was only three years old). And yet, when his own kids entered the picture, he had a hard time figuring out how to balance his career with the demands of fatherhood.

“I didn’t see much of my parents when I was a kid. They worked hard and did the best that they could because they grew up poor. I grew up a bit more privileged because my parents built a good foundation.

“And I was very close to my dad, I knew I wanted to be just like him and take over the business,” says Brian.

Brian says that he has learnt not to micromanage so much and he now has trained and built a team that he trusts so that he can spend more time with his family. — ART CHEN/The Star

When Brian married Leong, he says his goals and priorities were drastically different and centred around making more money.

“I think before kids, we were living for ourselves, you know? It was just about our own happiness and chasing the money and success. But I think once Honey and I had kids, we kind of changed our priorities.

“Now it's all about the kids. "Instead of just chasing the revenue and expansion and all that, I keep in mind how to balance my time with the kids as well,” he says.

Brian says this change in mindset has everything to do with treasuring his own flesh and blood.

“You know the saying – ‘You don’t know true love until you have kids?’ I tell everybody it’s so true because with these kids – it was just instant love. I would do anything for them,” he says passionately.

Brian’s views are echoed by celebrated chef Shaun Ng of Michelin Selected Hide KL, who is the father of two-year-old Hayden Ng.

“When I first started Hide a few years ago, I was the first one in and the last one to leave the restaurant. I was just there all the time because Hide was very, very new at that point, so I think at that infancy stage of things, it really required a lot more attention as well,” he says.

Shaun (right) says his wife Leow has been instrumental in helping him to maintain his career as well as be a present father to his son Hayden. — SHAUN NG

When his son was born, Shaun confesses that he discovered his priorities shifting.

“When my son was a newborn and needed to go for doctor’s appointments and vaccinations, I would come in an hour or two later so I could go for the appointment and over time, that became the norm,” he says.

Hide also closes two days a week now and Shaun says this has given him more opportunities to spend quality time with his child and his wife Gigi Leow.

“Before we only had one day off and it was a struggle trying to figure out whether to rest or spend time with family. Now I have more time to do both,” he says.

For experienced F&B entrepreneur Wong Yin How, who helms the Tinkerman Collective, which owns and operates restaurants like Vintry, Stoked and Proof, his restaurant career started when he was footloose and fancy-free and had all the hours in the day to work.

“I entered the restaurant industry in 2004 before I got married and had kids. So the biggest difference was that my time was my own, so I was quite involved in the day-to-day running. When the kids came along, I had to find time to pop in and pop out,” he says.

Yin How says his children are his trusted food advisers and the family typically bonds over holidays centred around food. Clockwise from left: Jen, Chan, Yin How and KJ at London's Borough Market. — WONG YIN HOW

Yin How and his wife Chan Wen Dee are parents to Jen Wong, 14, and KJ Wong, 12. In the early years, Yin How says as a family they often weren’t able to get together on public holidays, special celebrations or weekends but over the years, they have figured out how to make it work.

“We never really celebrate Father’s Day or Valentine’s Day or anything like that because that is when the restaurants are busiest, so now we have made it a tradition to celebrate on another day instead,” he says.

Delegating work

In order to carve out more time with their families, many F&B entrepreneurs have had to cast aside their need to do it all and share the workload with others instead.

“I think the first few years after my son was born, it was a struggle because I wasn’t really around, as I didn’t know how to manage my workload. And of course it was hard on Honey because it was almost like she was a single mum.

“But over time, I realised something had to change. So I started to build my team and I didn’t micromanage so much. I relied on my team more so that I could spend time with my family,” says Brian.

Once he became a father, Shaun (left) said he learnt to delegate duties to his staff, which in turn has helped them develop and grow their own skills. — Hide KL/Instagram

For Shaun, meanwhile, the birth of his child inevitably led to him organically trusting his team more.

“If you are doing a lot, the team is not going to learn, because you are doing things for them already. So as a head chef – even if you are single – it is important to let go a little so that the team can learn and grow as well,” he says.

Having said that, all the fathers agree that they couldn’t have found ways to keep their family lives together were it not for their spouses.

“As a father, of course I have to make a lot of sacrifices, but my wife has to make a lot of sacrifices too. I’m sure everyone in the industry feels the same.

“With my wife, it has taken a lot of compromise, understanding and sacrifices on her part to take the punches and go through the journey with me and help to motivate me and keep me going to pursue my dreams while holding our family together. She’s my rock,” says Shaun.

Brandon and Hayley are Brian's regular taste-testers for family-friendly dishes like pasta as he trusts their opinions and tastes. — ART CHEN/The Star

Bonding over food

If your father is a restaurant owner or a chef, the chances of you NOT being a foodie are slim to none. Which is why Brian, Shaun and Yin How all agree that food has helped them bond with their children in more ways than one.

Brian, for instance, says that even though Brandon and Hayley are still little, they have developed very good palates and he trusts their opinions on food, which is why they come for some of the tastings at his restaurants.

“Brandon’s favourite food is the Wagyu steak at his grandfather (David Chin’s) restaurant, so he has quite sophisticated taste buds for an eight-year-old.

“So these little guys are my taste-testers, especially for Dave’s Deli, because it is a very family-friendly restaurant. So let’s say we introduce a pasta dish on the menu – if Brandon and Hayley like it, I know everyone will like it,” says Brian.

Yin How runs a slew of restaurants like Proof, which has award-winning pizzas (pictured here) and says his children have been instrumental in tasting new additions on the menu and giving him suggestions and feedback. — Proof Pizza/Instagram

Yin How, on the other hand, says his children have literally grown up in the womb of the different restaurants that he has built, which is why family time often means going to the restaurants to do tastings.

“Because I am in the business, I do bring them along for tastings or to try special dishes and it has become a habit or ritual that they are one of the first few people to do pre-opening tastings when I open a new restaurant.

"They both have quite developed palates, so it’s nice to get their opinions and see how they pick things out and what suggestions they make,” he says.

A lot of the family’s travels and holidays are also built around food and wine, and as a consequence, Yin How says his children have become incredibly enthusiastic eaters of different cuisines.

“A lot of our family holidays tend to centre around wine regions or food meccas and the kids are quite used to that. I remember my son was probably four and my daughter about six when I took them to Gaggan (ranked one of the world’s best restaurants) in Bangkok and since that first experience, omakase meals are now their favourite and they can sit through anything raw or exotic,” says Yin How with pride.

As Hide is a small restaurant offering tasting menus, Shaun notes that considerable precision and skill are required for each dish, which is why he needs to be present as much as possible. — Hide KL/Instagram

Legacy planning

Given that so much of their lives and their children’s lives are intertwined with food and the restaurant business, this begs a very natural question: do these dads hope their kids will follow in their footsteps?

“It’s very hard to say – generally I would say ‘No’ knowing the sacrifices that come with the job and how you don’t really get to spend as much time with your kids as you want to. Like, by the time I get home, my son is already sleeping, so it’s difficult.

“But I am also very easy-going, so anything that my son decides to do, I will just tell him that he needs to make sure he puts his whole heart into it and not do it half-heartedly,” says Shaun.

Brian says that his children have developed very good palates and are adventurous eaters. These corn ribs at Bistrot David, for instance, are Hayley's favourite dish. — ART CHEN/The Star

For Yin How, there is no reason to push his children into something that will consume so much of their time – if they are not actually passionate about it.

“If they do show an interest and I am still in the business, we can have that conversation because at the moment, there is no clear understanding that they will take over.

“Also, my kids realise the business is not a walk in the park. F&B is something you must really love – you can’t force it because it’s tough and requires a lot of hard work, odd hours, late nights and sacrifices,” says Yin How.

Brian, meanwhile, says he himself works very, very hard so that his children will have the opportunity to pursue whatever their interests may be – whether that’s F&B or something else altogether.

“The reason I work so hard is so that they have the freedom to choose whatever they want to do in their lives,” he explains.

But in this regard, his children – little though they may be – may already be choosing and carving their own paths.

Because when asked what she wants to do when she grows up, cheeky little Hayley looks straight at her dad and quips, “I’m going to steal away your shop!”