empathy

I’m Sorry My Kid Was A Jerk During My Divorce

His world was turned upside down, and he didn’t know what to do.

by Anonymous

21 hours ago

franckreporter/E+/Getty Images

My ex-husband and I weren’t even separated for a month when my son, 15, got caught skipping class. A few weeks later, he got suspended for smoking pot in front of the school with an older kid. Then, our dog died. It was a horrible year, and on top of everything else, I was in and out of his school every week, having meetings with teachers, picking him up early because he’d gotten into a fight or got caught posting something on SnapChat.

The son I’d known for 15 years was nowhere to be found. And I knew exactly what had happened: His world had been turned upside down. When my ex and I told the kids we were getting a divorce, he took it the hardest. He is my oldest and has always been my most independent child, but he wears his heart on his sleeve. I think all the emotions he was feeling were very difficult for him to process. He shut down, cried a lot, and was so angry he punched a hole in the wall.

I got him into counseling. I worked closely with his teachers, and we stayed in touch weekly through email. I took his phone away and told him he couldn't hang out with his friends until he turned things around. I knew he was struggling with the divorce, but I wanted him to know that wasn’t an excuse for him to act like a jerk. And yet the behavior continued.