Jack Garland is the manliest man I’ve met in a long time. He’s the protagonist of Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin, a new spinoff from Koei Tecmo studio Team Ninja (Nioh, Nioh 2) and Square Enix. Jack is on a mission to kill a monster called Chaos, and to those who doubt his quest he says, “Bullshit.” His grizzled face has a jawline sharp enough to cut through the most devastating of dragons, and he himself is so strong he can smash the heads of trolls and giant wolves alike. He’s extremely gruff, and yet, it’s precisely this manliness — combined with a metric fuck ton of loot found in the game — that prompted me to turn him into the world’s angriest barbie doll.