Am I being too soft hearted

I got to know a girl from Taiwan few months ago who was working in Singapore under S pass.

Let’s call her ‘D’. She was a sweet lady, very well-mannered, compassionate and very family oriented. We got along really well and soon became attached. We met almost everyday and spent our weekends together , shopping for groceries, going to the beaches, watching movies and much more.

We were like any other couples who were in love. We shared our joy and problems .. we talked about our family and anything under the roof. She said I made her feel special and happy, a feeling that she had never gotten from other guys. I told her I am serious in the relationship and she acknowledged and told me that if time permits, she would bring me to her hometown to meet her family and bring me around. I was really happy when she told me that.

2 months ago, due to some family matters, she had to go back to her hometown. Our communication got lesser after she went back and shortly after she told me she has to cancel her permit as her dad wanted her to stay in her hometown and that she would never be able to work in Singapore anymore.

As the communication got lesser, I felt something not right.. I asked if she is seeing someone else. She said no but that her dad had wanted her to settle down in her hometown and had suggested that she get married to a close friend’s son whom she said she has never met and she was considering as her dad is getting old.. she felt that it was right to stay and take care of her dad.

My heart sunk when she told me that but at the same time I respected the way she thinks. We continued to chat via text like we used to but the frequency got lesser and lesser. Then,I knew it was hard for us to be together.

Her birthday was last month and I told her I had bought her present and would ask a common Taiwan friend to pass to her when she meets her in Taiwan. D suggested that if I had the time, she would want me to pass to her myself.

I was uncertain as I felt she had been cold in our chats and I wouldn’t want her to make me feel like I am just a normal friend when I see her. I went eventually.

I was really happy when things were like when we were in Singapore. We held hands , we kissed, the feeling was the same. We had a good talk and I asked her again if she is seeing anyone in her hometown.. she told me no again. I asked her about the arranged marriage by her dad, she said she had not made up her mind. . She told me she had spoken to her dad about me and that her dad needed time to think about it. She said once she settled all the issues, she would bring me to see her dad. I told her I would give her time and am ready to settle down with her. She said she was happy to hear that from me. I came back to Singapore with full of hope.

However, few weeks ago, I got to know from the common friend that D has intended to get engaged this month and this guy she was going to get engaged to was in fact her boyfriend in Taiwan whom she knew about a year ago.

I was shocked and heartbroken but I pretended not to know. I hinted to her a few times in our chats that I felt something not right and asked if she has anything that she wanted to tell me.. She ignored.

Then came the day that I couldn’t take it and told her I knew everything about her and her boyfriend and told her we should have a good talk and end everything nicely. The text message that she gave me was .. “we can’t chat like that anymore because few more days, I will…” that was her exact words.. she couldn’t even finished the sentence in the chat and didn’t have the courage to confess to me that she lied and that she indeed has plan to get engaged to her boyfriend. My heart was deeply hurt.. but I kept cool and wished her all the best..

There were moments that I felt so angry when I think back how she has lied to me that I wanted to expose her wrongdoings to her presumably husband now. I would be able to connect with him if I wanted to. I wanted to tell him She has cheated on both of us.. but I ended up suffering alone in silence and felt the other guys is innocent.

Few days ago I saw her engagement photos, she was wearing a ring that I gave to her. It was hurtful. I don’t know if she felt sorry or guilty when taking those photos .. she seemed to have a good time but I am here suffering alone.

I know it’s easy to say.. let it go.. but the hurt is really deep. I am just worried I would get drunk one day, can’t control myself and expose everything out to the other guy.

It’s Hard. I don’t hate you but am utterly disappointed with You ‘D’