Any Malaysians out there may I get some dating advice?

I am a Malaysian studying at NUS and my boyfriend is also a Malaysian but he grew up in Singapore. He went to RI and he’s now in medicine.

I have not been able to get him to go back to Malaysia with me to visit my parents even once.

I am from JB. He’s also from JB. He explicitly told me before we got together that unless absolutely necessary, he would prefer not to ever have to go back to Malaysia again. I thought he wasn’t serious about this but the more I know him the more evident it became. His parents still live in JB but he and his two siblings share a condo in Singapore. His two elder siblings have become Singapore citizens and they share his resentment of Malaysia.

The only reason why my boyfriend has held onto his Malaysia passport is because his parents threatened to cut him off if he were to serve NS.

He plans to convert as soon as he is financially independent.

I tried to get to the root of his hatred on multiple occasions but he was always very tight-lipped. So I spoke to his eldest sister, who is now a big 4 auditor.

She said Malaysia is dirty, unsafe, racist, and when they were kids, they always had to look over their shoulders for fear of being robbed. Their home was broken into 3 times, all of which ended with their parents being hit. They were also English-educated and non-religious, which made it very hard for them to fit in.

They were bullied a lot growing up for not being able to speak Mandarin. Their parents are bananas who can’t speak much Mandarin.

My experience growing up in JB was quite different. I have a big family and many friends who are all still in Malaysia. I’m very sure that his family’s experience could be down to bad luck and it is not the experience of most people from JB. I am very compatible with him. We agree on almost everything and we enjoy each other’s company. The only thing is whenever I mention Malaysia he will always find something really bad to say about it. Whenever I complain about something here he will always use it as an opportunity to say how shitty Malaysia is in comparison.

During CNY his parents would come over to Singapore for their reunion dinner but the three of them wouldn’t go back to JB with them even though they have more than 10 uncles and aunties that their parents always visit. Every year, I would beg for him to go back with me at least on the first day on CNY but he has never gone back once.

I see myself marrying him. He is perfect for me in almost every aspect. He is hardworking, smart, very honest, and very loyal. I don’t how to change his mind because having him back in JB with me on big occasions is important to me. Friends and family getting married, CNY, Mid-Autumn gatherings etc.

I am at my wit’s end with this and it would be the perfect scenario for me if I can get some ideas on how to make him more accepting.