I (29f) am thinking of leaving my disinterested husband (29m).

I’ve been with my husband for 6 years, married for 3. We own a home as well as multiple pets, but are strictly child-free. I am needing advice on 1. if I am being extreme and 2. how to break it to him.

I am a go-getter in life, and have climbed the corporate ladder with zero schooling and simply hard work. My husband works a job that has no growth, no raises, and no interest in him as a person with drive.

He self-proclaims he is “content,” while I have to work hard to support us with our huge salary gap (I make double he does).

As time has passed and we purchased a home and other landmarks, he has refused to try and step up in any manner to help me.

At one point I asked him if he could at least maybe pick up on more chores to help me out since I was desperate to feel any sense of fairness in our day to day.

He refuses to do any extra work, all repairs/services/any sort of issue in our lives falls solely to me since I am “better at figuring things out” than him.

All phone calls, scheduling, problems all fall to me to handle, while his day to day consists solely of video games.

I have even tried to get him into other hobbies (I’m a gamer too, but I think you need to spread your wings passed JUST that), but he claims he has no other interest in life.

I have had MULTIPLE conversations, and by multiple I mean practically every 3-4 months for 2 years, I have these “come to Jesus” talks, trying to get him to step up his game.

We don’t even do holidays anymore because I would buy him gifts, where he would get nothing and claim he “didn’t like what I asked for.”

We spend absolutely zero time together outside of getting food or small talk throughout the day, even though we both work from home.

I am getting to a place where I’d rather hang out with my online friends than spend any alone time with him. I make up stories about him and I having “good times” to my friends, so that they don’t have concern for me and they can “like him.”

He is happy to have me go to my best friends for all my emotional support since it’s not his forte. We don’t text, and when I was away for a week he literally did not message me once.

I went to him after an anxiety attack two weeks ago, and he didn’t even give me attention until I called him out for it.

When we talk, I have to actively ask him to say SOMETHING, or else he will just sit there spacing out, not acknowledging my speaking at all.

Our physical relationship is zero, now I am beginning to wonder if I am just incredibly unhappy with him. I feel like I have given it every chance I can, have tried to set him up for success time and time again, only for his laziness to win out.

I have had all the counseling conversations, but I’m always met with, “I’ll try to be better,” only for nothing to change.

Is this a lost hope? I dropped the bomb last week telling him I was on my last chance, and he’s been trying this past week to be better. Even with his efforts, I feel so apathetic to it all and I have zero trust that it’ll be fixed this time.

He’s been so happy and jovial, it hurts me to think that I am going to drop the “divorce” word on him and hurt him.

I know he loves me and considers me the greatest thing to happen to him, but I can’t help but feel he’s something that’s holding me back.

Any advice on 1. what to do here and 2. if I SHOULD separate, how to talk to him, would be greatly appreciated.