Sorry if this isn’t the right place but sometimes I’m not that good at judging myself. Spoiler it may be boring, but probably very relatable for people with food allergies and neglecting families.

Today I’ve been invited to a family reunion, which happens once or twice a year. This will be a reunion for “everybody’s birthday” since many of us are born in the same month.

My family ends up always choosing a place where I can barely eat anything. That’s because I can’t eat gluten due to sinus and my family is well aware of this because my grandmother always cooked for me separately. Also when we were in Italy everything is about pizza and I can’t eat regular pizza, I need to eat in a place that has the gluten free option.

Making it even more complicated, the chosen restaurant has a menu mainly composed of gluten dishes. I really dislike it. The other option is meat that 1) costs a lot and 2) I stopped eating because I’m going vegetarian.

Last year I had the same problem, I ended up attending and eating something I didn’t really want to eat, I ate meat while everyone was eating pizza and it always makes me feel weird. I want to eat what everyone is eating.

I would really like to attend, I’ve always had a difficult relationship with my family but lately I’m trying to get closer to them and let them know me and open up to me, but it feels like they keep ignoring my needs and limits and this makes me feel really sad and this is why I’m considering not attending, it wouldn’t make me feel good.

Am I selfish and a killjoy for thinking about not attending? Should I just pick some meat, pay extra and just shut up and let everybody else enjoy the reunion? Am I ruining everybody’s dinner?

Of course, every time this happens I talk to my mother and explain I have a problem with the menu and she understands but she will never take my side or be my advocate because she doesn’t have the courage to say anything different from what my grandparents want.