After dropping my phone yesterday, I needed a backup until I get my new phone.

Luckily my gf, had recently gotten a new phone, so I was able to just switch sims and have a working phone for the time being.

However, when I turned the phone on, it was still logged into her applied account and all her stuff, texts, email, photos, apps, etc. were still on the phone. I didn’t think anything of it and just started replying to the messages that I missed during the day.

As I was doing that, I noticed a message from “New York Trip” right below my messages. Again, I didn’t put much thought into that because my GF had told me sometime around January and February that she may be going to New York for a work trip at the end of May.

So I didn’t click on it. I had no reason to because, throughout our 7-year relationship, she had been completely loyal, and honest and never gave me a reason to think she might be doing something shady. I, on the other hand, had cheated on her once during the 2nd year of us dating.

I knew I had fvcked up, and I was prepared to do anything to get her back. Luckily for me, her grandfather(rest his soul) saw something good in me and told her to give me a second chance, and she did.

Needless to say I was and am still so thankful for that second chance. Fast forward a few years and now we’re here, me still paying for my mistake(as I should), and me never ever thinking she would stray.

The way I found out, is that later on, something updated i guess? The New York Trip name was updated to Cameron. Now I was curious and kind of confused. We don’t have a Cameron in any of our friend groups or in any of our work groups. So I clicked on it….I wish I hadn’t.

What I saw were texts between her and this “Cameron” that were those of like two people who had just started dating. Lewd texts, thrown in with convos about work, and coworkers, and I miss you and whatnot. I was floored.

There were messages about meeting up, going to lunches together, dinners, even meeting up at hotels. But I was still so confused because she doesn’t work with a Cameron but the messages were like oh my god you were so beautiful today, or something along the lines of having seen each other regularly throughout the day.

Then that’s when I saw it. A reference to her co-workers as meatballs. A nickname that my GF had specifically told me her boss made up and gave to her co-workers. Then i went digging. I looked into her group messages with her co-workers and sure enough, there was Cameron. So I looked through the texts and when her coworker said: “Christian, you should come out with all of us!” “Cameron” was the one that replied.

So now, I’m thinking that her week-long NY “work trip” wasn’t even a work trip, and just a trip for them to take together

Edit: Another useless but relevant fact: he is married.

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, and maybe this is why she’s been promoted and moving up in this company so quickly. And maybe it’s just for accelerating her career, and she still loves me, like I do her….but…I just don’t know how to handle this.

Do I just accept that things are over? Do I talk to her and see where she stands? And if she does want to stay together, do I go for that and give her a second chance as she gave me? There are just so many variables because I know all cheating is bad but….I feel like hers is a lot worse.

Not to give myself face or anything, but I was completely blacked out when I cheated, and the only reason I knew what happened, was because she(my ex) told me the next day. This though… is like a calculated thing that has been happening for at the very least, 4 months.

I’m sorry for this long drawn out post….I feel like I just needed to write this somewhere….thanks.