Never “lend” money to anyone. If someone is in need of financial assistance, and they come to you asking for money, you shouldn’t lend it to them. If you want to maintain a friendship, treat it like a gift.

Can’t afford to gift the money? Then you can’t afford to lend them the money either.

I lent a very expensive item to a sibling because she asked me. Then she went through a bitter divorce and I didn’t want to trouble her for it. After she kept the item for much longer than agreed to, I asked for its return.

She revealed that she sold it because she needed the money. She apologized and promised to pay for it.

That was 20 years ago. She refuses to follow through on her promise because she says I didn’t ask politely. This woman has a degree works in a reputable company, and now speaks publically on personal integrity issues.

Sometimes I just want to expose her so I can feel better but…

I’m not interested in revenge. Revenge quickly becomes a cancer. Anyone ever notice how revenge feels good only in anticipation, and then it tends to escalate the response? During the intervening years, I’ve been blessed to have enjoyed the generosity, kindness and love of more than enough people to make up for this one act of selfishness.

Here are what netizens think:

Sounds like she never intended to pay back at all. We call that strapping where I’m from I tell you what.

It’s more fundamental than that. This is a very human condition. You can rationalize anything you want to be true. So people usually use this ability to rationalize things that benefit them.

She probably intended to give it back initially. But that changed when it became beneficial for her to sell it. Then she rationalizes. This is very pervasive behavior in humans.

Sometimes personal integrity just means being an immutable wall, unwilling to change.