I don’t know about you, but I’m glad for this pandemic. Why? Partly because I can WFH, but also partly cos I don’t need to see my fiancée.

She’s not my “official” fiancée, cos I’ve not officially buy ring, kneel down and propose to her. Her sisters, right in front of her parents some more, kept asking me for the zillionth time when I’m going to marry her.

I just said OK OK, in a half joking way, but the whole family interpreted as I agreed. Her 2 sisters, really cannot stand them at times.

That was during CNY reunion dinner. With this pandemic, at least now I’ve reason to push back all the wedding preparations. Can push how far push how far but now I finding new excuses.

I don’t mind marrying her, but I’m also not sure if I want to really marry her. She’s a very nice and understanding woman.

Till now she’s not even asked when I’m going to buy ring, officially propose etc. But the main thing I really don’t like is she’s not the slim type. Is the plump, “bah bah” type. Not sumo wrestler fat, but still…fat. She jokes about her “thunderous thighs” and says she has big bones.

But I can tell she’s those types naturally fat, and very hard to slim down even if she controls her diet. We’ve been together 2 years and went running, the gym together, but she just cannot slim down. We tried to do yoga but she gave up after 3 lessons. Plus she likes to snack. So naturally fat + bad lifestyle habits = no hope.

You ask me why I’m with her? She’s a nice woman, to me, to friends, to everyone. Her character is good, she’s thrifty and a low-maintenance woman.

She’s a good joker and knows how to make me laugh. I feel comfortable with her. And after 2 years I thought I can look past her fatness and appreciate her inner beauty. But I’m sorry to report I still cannot. Now this wedding thing has forced me to really think if I really want to marry her.

I cannot imagine the next time if she’s pregnant how she’ll look like? If even my friends’ wives, who were slim previously, cannot slim down after pregnancy, who chance does she have? Maybe double or triple in size after pregnant, and really look like sumo wrestler for rest of her life. I cannot imagine.

Last time when I saw a not bad looking guy with a fatty girlfriend, I would think “what’s he thinking?” Now is my turn to be in this situation. My ex girlfriends were all slim type, and she comforted me when I broke up with the last one. In the end she became my “rebound” girlfriend.

I never thought we will last so long. At first I was quite paiseh going out with her, but over time I thought I don’t mind already. But now, I really need to decide. Boyfriend-girlfriend for companionship, support is one thing; marrying is totally different.

I’m only 29, the more I consider, the more I should keep my options open right? If I call off the wedding, her sisters will surely kill me, and I know I will break her heart. But it’s also not right I sacrifice my own happiness for them right?