I saw some posts lately about people wanting to get in touch with an ex to just “catch up with life” when they are already in a committed relationship.

We all have some remnants of fondness or regrets about past relationships. But unless it’s something huge that you want to apologise for like you cheated their entire life savings, caused their whole life to collapse and you really die die cannot sleep and living with some form of remorse every day, please spare a thought for your current partner and DO NOT REACH OUT to your ex.

Yes, it may provide some form of relief for you to contact them and say a few words but please consider your partner’s feelings…

Is your need for “closure” worth more than potentially jeopardising the relationship and hurting your partner’s feelings?

I was in a similar situation before except that I was the partner. I found out that my other half wrote a message to his ex thanking her for the good times & apologising for some hurt caused during the relationship. My partner can argue the content and those few words were generally harmless and meant nothing, more of trying to seek some closure for himself but it hurt me a lot and I started doubting our relationship.

Well, I agree, nothing alarming in the message content but I didn’t understand why that message had to be sent. What was soooo pressing or important that he had to message her? What I could only interpret with my clouded brain then was that ‘he is thinking of her and cannot let go of the relationship’. And till today I still struggle with trust and commitment.

I know the intention is not to cause any hurt to your other half.

But I just want to say it’s not worth it to contact your ex for some sort of emotional relief at the expense of your partner’s feelings. Please think twice before pressing that send or call button.