I feel quite worried that my mom has lost her job as the shop is closing soon due to poor business.

I have suggested to her that I can support her financially, but I got scolded by her as she doesn’t want to rely on me and she wants to find a new job. However, she has been complaining to me that she doesn’t like to go for interviews and that she prefers her current boss and colleagues.

At the same time, my sister is also having problems with her own school work and she told me she is probably going to fail her computer science module. Sometimes I feel that I can only listen to people’s problems, but I also don’t know how to help them.

I also cannot help my sister since I graduated in bioscience and I have no knowledge of coding.

I hope the rainy day will be over soon for both of them.

Actually, I feel very frustrated to be worried about things that I cannot provide help with. I know it sounds stupid to worry about things I have no control over. And, it seems like I can only give emotional support to both of them and encourage them more. I feel so sick of worrying now.

However, at least I’m working now, and I can support them if anything happens. Sometimes I’m actually very grateful to my friends and my boss.

I was an outcast quite badly last time during secondary school. When I went to JC on the first day, I was very scared and I had no confidence that I could still make friends (imagine if you get outcast for 2 years during your secondary 3 and 4 and your classmates like to call you fat. I guess it would only be normal for the young me to lose confidence).

Luckily one of the girls befriended me during the orientation. I know it may sound nothing to my JC friend as she is a very friendly and approachable person. Because her normal mode of action is to be friendly to any human being.

She actually made me become more open and able to socialise and talk to my other classmates.

She is like a bridge for me and my other friends. Because of her, I could go through my JC well. So, I’m actually quite thankful.

For my boss, I’m very grateful of him, not only because he gave me a job before circuit breaker. He is very motivating and he encouraged me a lot during the work. He even comforted me before last time when I just started.

Even though he probably sees me as any of his employees (he probably hired many different teachers before), I feel very thankful to him. Maybe he sees me as cheap labour or a person who is useful to him or he just needs more manpower (given that I go back to work during some of my rest days).

I still feel very thankful for him. Due to my shy character, I have problems succeeding in interviews.

Going for an interview is like using my worst subject to compete with someone else’s best subject. I’m quite confident in my own work, but somehow heaven probably decides to close the window of interview skill for me.

I also don’t know why. I have been failing around 50 job interviews before getting the offer from my current boss early this year. I guess this is probably fate. At least I can stop going for interviews for now.

I hope my mom and sister will be fine. We won’t have good luck forever. Hopefully, bad luck will leave us soon. Probably I need to do more good things nowadays, so that good luck will come again.