I just wanted a 10 minute shower.

It was day 2 of my menstrual period, the heaviest day, and I was feeling gross after being outside running errands and in the hot weather.

My kids, aged 3 and 2, were in bed by 8 pm. I went to take a shower (master bedroom and bathroom are on the first floor). I stripped down. I just noticed all the towels were gone. My husband decided to wash all the towels in the house because why not? I went to the laundry closet, but all towels were still in the washer 3 hours after the machine sung its tune to tell us to evacuate its insides. But my husband fell asleep around the time it turned off (he had very little sleep last night) and I was preoccupied making dinner for the little ones.

So I stood there, unclothed, quickly dumping towels in the dryer. I stepped out of the laundry closet and walked through the kitchen as I remembered leaving one towel to dry on the chair. It was still there.

I felt a sneeze come on and had to hold onto the counter/cross my legs quickly; but it was too late. Urine and menstrual blood sprayed onto the floor. Then another sneeze, another larger spray. Nobody was awake or around, but I was embarrassed. I used a paper towel to wipe the inside of my legs down because I felt too guilty to use a kitchen towel and wash it without telling anyone what it wiped up.

One of my cats, not afraid of my sneeze, came up to me and sniffed the floor. Tried to shoo her away and stepped in the blood urine again. Mopped up what I could with the paper towel while more menstrual blood flowed down, uncontrolled. I hobbled to the stair railing, grabbed the towel, and heard my 3 year old rustling around in the loft, peering at me between the bars of the railing.

“Hi, mama!”

She probably couldn’t sleep because of the fireworks going off. She probably saw me, hobbling with blood running down my legs. I’m so embarrassed.

All I wanted was a damn shower.