I have been best friends with this guy, let’s call him John, for over 15 years. We have been through a lot together – from getting into trouble together as teenagers to finishing our Army together and now stepping into our 30s. But lately, I have noticed a worrying trend in John’s life.

Mum is very concern about his ‘lack of direction’

John’s mum, who is a sweet and caring lady, has been increasingly worried about John’s lack of direction and motivation in life. She has been sharing her concerns with me whenever she has the opportunity to see me, and I can’t help but feel a sense of unease.

John is turning 30 this year, and he is still living like how we used to in our teenage years. He spends most of his time playing video games, lounging on the couch, and hanging out with his friends drinking and gambling.

Still indulges him by giving him money and supporting him when he asks for it

He holds a job but has no savings, and no plans for the future. His mum has been supporting him financially, especially when he opens his mouth to ask for it, be it small amounts like $10 to larger amounts of a few hundred dollars.

John also insisted on taking a degree when he first started working even though it was obvious that he did not have the academic capabilities as all his friends have one and he didn’t want to feel left out.

He confidently told his mum that he will fund his own degree as he was working at the time but in the end his mum still had to pay for his degree as he was overspending on his lifestyle every month.

Down plays the matter whenever I try to talk to him

I have talked to John about his situation, but he just brushes it off and says he’s “figuring things out.” He has no sense of urgency or drive to change his lifestyle. He’s content with living in his bubble, and it’s heartbreaking to see his mum’s worry and frustration.

As a friend, I want to help John, but I don’t know how. I have tried talking to him, giving him advice, and even trying to recommend him a job at where I was working at, but he just doesn’t seem to care. I can’t force him to change, but I also can’t stand by and watch him waste his life away.

I know that John’s situation is not uncommon. Many people in their 20s and 30s are struggling to find their place in the world. But John’s case is different because he has a supportive mum who is worried sick about him. She sees his potential and wants him to live up to it.

I hope that one day, John will realize the importance of taking responsibility for his life and making something of himself.