Only Child – Curse or Blessing?

When people hear that you are an only child, they would immediately think WOW so lucky you must be spoiled. Being an only child has its pros and cons it all depends if you have a healthy family relationship, parents and you yourself.

Not all only child people are lucky to be spoiled by their parents. Some parents only wish to have a child for the sake of ensuring that someone will take care of them once they grow old (needs and finances).

For unlucky ones, being an only child means you bear the full drama and life frustrations/expectations of your difficult parent. You alone will have to bear all the emotional outbursts, unreasonable demands, violent fights, hypocritical views, double standards,slander and illogical conversations throughout your childhood.

Even as an adult, you cannot fully distance yourself since you now bear the sole responsibility of taking care of your living difficult/toxic parent. You have to bear their personal loans which you haven’t even agreed to. You fear getting a partner and in-laws as you know they somehow have to also bear dealing with your difficult/toxic parent and this will inevitably sabotage and ruin your marriage. You cannot even consider having a child as you have to prioritise the financial needs of your living parent. You have to push and force yourself to constantly call and check on them even if every meeting/ conversation will cause you great anxiety/heart pain.

You tell yourself, no choice as you have to do your part as their child and at the back of your mind you also don’t want to have any regrets when they are no longer here on this earth.

I envy other people on how their parents treat them, I on the other hand just functions as a cash cow.

I feel very drained, feeling is my purpose only to support my living difficult parent and I could only start living my own life once I am the only one left alive.