So, I’m a 18f who works full time and lives with my Dad(41) and my step mom(41). Before I get into this: let me tell you my dad is VERY religious. Moving on.

So, last Saturday my dad and I were home alone and I was in my room because it was my day off. My dad suddenly came into my room and asked if I wanted to hang out, and I said sure. So we start goofing around, normal father-daughter stuff when he asks me how I’m liking my job.

I love it! I’m a server at an elderly home and I couldn’t be happier. I was telling him how I couldn’t wait for payday and how I was going to buy groceries and start working on paying for my therapist myself rather than him paying for me when he got super mad.

F: None of this stuff matter’s OP! This life, and it’s objects, none of it matters! I don’t see why you’re so obsessed with the things of this world when you need to be focused on God!

I just sighed and went quiet because I don’t like to talk to him about religion or god. I’m kinda terrified of religion because of past trauma and he doesn’t seem to grasp why. Then he went on about how there’s a community college right down the road, and he wonders if my plan is to just work and work for money when I literally have free college (which I’m so grateful for) he asked me what my plans are for the future, if any at all.

So, as. I said, my dad, is super religious. He got like this after 6 months in the desert of Kuwait and since august of last year he’s been drilling into my head that the world’s gonna end in 7 years and how nothing of this world matters and he loves calling me a sinner because I don’t match his ideals.

But I digress. Because my dad has just been pushing it into my head for over a year now, nearly everyday- coupled with other issues that led to me being super anxious and slightly depressed, I’ve given up on my dreams. I’m in therapy, and I’ve gotten a lot better than I was before, (my dad hates I’m in therapy btw, says I just need God) but the point is that I just don’t see a future for me anymore past the next month.

And so I told my dad that. I told him that I don’t have anymore plans because what the point? No matter how I see it, no matter what I may do to make myself a little happier, he’s just going to remind me how none of it matter and how it’s all ending in less than 10 years according to his Bible. I told him that I’m just remembering how nothing I do matters and how everything in this world in pointless so why bothering going back to school and going out or even thinking about a family.

He went silent when I told him how I felt and when I told him I don’t have any dreams or plans anymore because HES the one who killed them, he just went to his room and didn’t leave until he had to go to work. Most of my family has been understanding but I do feel bad about hurting his feelings. He hasn’t really talked to me since then and I just want to know how badly I messed up.