The abject idiocy of Satanic Panic, I am disappointed to report, is once again rearing its head during a moment that should be filled with nothing but full-bodied celebration.

Though you surely don't need anyone to break the news to you at this point, Playboi Carti's long-teased Whole Lotta Red now has a release date: Dec. 25. That date, notably, didn't possess any meaning prior to Carti's unveiling: