SISTER IN LAW WHO IS ABOUT TO DIVORCE COME ASKING FOR MONEY
Singapore Uncensored·2024-03-15 19:10
I am so confused here.
I can’t decide if I’m setting a reasonable boundary or being a cold-hearted person.
To try to condense a complicated dynamic into a few sentences: my brother and I have never gotten along. We have very different values.
I am five years older than my brother. I work a blue collar job, as does my husband. We have one toddler. My brother is an “entrepreneur” who bounces from project to project.
When he was twenty-three, he married his wife. I was engaged at the time, but my now husband wasn’t invited. I barely knew this woman then, so I didn’t care. I was just there for appearances. Over the years, I have seen this woman only at family gatherings. She was never hostile to me, but we have nothing in common and never had any great interactions.
My parents told me about the divorce, and I didn’t have much of a reaction. She reached out to me and told me they have no money. This doesn’t surprise me. She told me my brother ruined her life and she needs help financially and with childcare.
I told her I was sorry, that I was willing to have my nephews and niece visit me, but I wasn’t going to give her money and didn’t want to continue to have a relationship with her (not that we ever really had one).
She told me that women support other women. My brother ruined her life, and I need to help her. She said a lot of stuff about gender and my family and a ton of other stuff but I, well, just don’t care? I have my own life and family.
Does that make me cold?
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hweejaya_0554 16/03/2024
You are not cold hearted. Once you help and give, there will be no ending as she will be back for more with pitiful stories, unless you are filthy rich and don’t mind to keep giving.
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Tony Tan8490 16/03/2024
There is no need to be held hostage morally just because she is related to your brother and since both of them are divorce, it's their couple issue to settle the expense required to raise their children
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Astro KW 16/03/2024
She came to you b'cos she considers you, 'family', altho' you have not significant interactions! Of course you can stand your ground and it is really none of your business! 😕 But 'compassion' is a virtue, if you can help, good things will come to those whom do Good! 😉
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Daniel Chow 15/03/2024
No u r not cold. U did the right thing. His life is his business. N hers has nothing to do with u. U hv no rapport so dont fall into her trap. Once u give in...she will manipulate u for more. The bud stop here. Better of looking after yr own family. Sometime u got to be cruel to let them learn their lesson n be better n respionsible human being. She married yr brother she ask for it. Whether good or bad, for better or worst. Tats their life.
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Joze 16/03/2024
Help you niece/nephews by all means. They are blood ties. You can house them, cloth them, give them pocket money etc because they are your brother's children. Don't give money to their mother who is now your ex-SIL and as you said, never really developed a social relation with you all these years. In other words, would you lend your 'blue-collar' salary to a stranger? No guarantor? No collateral? You can't be serious.
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