My sister has a wedding coming up this summer. Its not a destination wedding, it will be in a local park/pavilion, she just told us about it recently and told us to expect the invitations, but we knew it was a possibility with as I heard recently her boyfriend asked our dad about how he would feel if they got married (essentially asking for her hand in marriage, old fashioned but I guess).

Well, when we received the invitations, it said this wedding will be “child free”. Once I got my invitation, I called my sister up just to discuss the wedding and give her my response by phone. I didn’t mention the child free part, just asked about the wedding and how her planning was going. She seemed excited, told me she can’t wait to be the “center of attention” on her special day. I congratulated her, but I told her as its child free and I have two sons, I wouldn’t be able to make it, I would send a gift with our parents though.

She kinda got upset and asked why I wasn’t going to come. I simply told her weddings are family events for me, and if its not a family event I don’t see the point (i.e. kids being allowed). Our parents are the important people to be there for her special day, so I don’t feel my presence is direly needed. My sister was very unhappy about this, she yelled that I never even tried to find babysitting or come to her wedding. She got angry because last year I attended our cousins wedding, and she feels hers should be more important and one I should want to attend.

Their wedding wasn’t child free, my kids were there, very well behaved and it was definitely a family event. I don’t feel that I should shell out money to have someone watch my kids, just to watch her get married and honestly I just don’t want to. I didn’t mention her changing the rule, I just told her I wouldn’t be attending. She got angry and is now involving my husband and parents in my decision, saying if I choose not to come she won’t speak to me again (her hill to die on, not my problem). My parents would like me to come just to keep the peace, and my husband says its really my decision and he backs me either way. Personally I don’t feel like an Asshole cause I’m not asking her to change anything, I’m just making a personal decision.

Would I be wrong for not attending?