In what is obviously the biggest news story of the week, the Washington Post reported on Thursday that Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner refused to let their Secret Service detail use any of the half-dozen toilets in the couple’s house. Because if there’s one group of people I want to piss off (pun intended?), it’s the men and women who are literally protecting my life. “It’s the first time I ever heard of a Secret Service detail having to go to these extremes to find a bathroom,” a law enforcement official told the Post, referring to the agents previously having to use a garage bathroom nearby at — as if this story wasn’t incredible enough already — Barack and Michelle Obama’s house.