I came home and found my husband crying about his daughter that I didn’t know about.

This took place last week. I’m a 35 year old female, met my 42 year old husband 7 years ago and got married 4 years ago. He only dated his high school sweet heart for 14 years then she passed away.

After that, he never dated til I came around. Or at least that’s what he told me. During the third year of our marriage, I noticed significant change in his behavior.

His alcohol addiction raised to the surface after he got kicked out of his job and cut contact with most family members.

He was doing fine, was sociable, had a good relationship with his family and was rational most of the time but then it’s like he did a 180 turn.

I helped him get help for his addiction and he thankfully started getting his life together. He even found a better job that pays well.

Last week, I got home from work and the minute I walked in I heard him crying, like full on sobbing. I freaked out, looked for him and found him upstairs on the floor sitting and sobing.

I remember myself freaking out yelling “who died” and “what happened” and if he was okay. It took me well over 20 minutes to get him to calm down.

He then said he wanted to tell me something. I got worried just by looking in his eyes but what he said was not something I’d expect in a million years.

He reminded me of the third year of our marriage when he started drinking and fighting with everybody. I said what about it and he told me that he had a one night stand around the time of his brother’s wedding and got the woman pregnant.

I was stunned, completely stunned. He said that every single one of the family knew and they pressured him to “do the right thing” and be a dad for this child but he refused.

As a result his family fought with him but the woman still kept the baby which was a girl but she died at the age of 5 months due to health problems.

My husband’s family raged at him and that’s when he started drinking and that’s when he spiralled and job loss came. He said he felt guilty for his daughter’s passing and said that he felt like he had rejected and abandoned her and eventually lost her.

He admitted visiting her few times and holding her. He even said he thought a lot about being involved in her life was afraid I’d walk away if I found out about her.

I couldn’t say a word to respond I just took a chair and sat down because it felt like a hot-cold wave hitting me all of a sudden. He started crying saying that he was sorry and that he made a mistake but his daughter meant something to him and he just couldn’t hide it anymore.

He said that I can decide to leave if I want but he was done hiding how he feels about losing his flesh and blood. I still didn’t know what to say. I kept thinking about how my life just got ruined, I mean,..we were just discussing the possibilty to start trying for a baby.

This was not something I’d see coming in a million years. He wants us to move past his infidelity because he got his punishment by losing his daughter.

I packed a bag and went to stay with my mom. It’s been days since we’ve talked and even now I’m still in disblief and don’t know what to do. I still haven’t told my family yet.