My boyfriend (30M) of six years cheated on me (31F) at the start of the year. I have broken up with him but my family are trying to pressure me into going to relationship counselling to work through things.

I (31F) found out at the start of the year that my boyfriend (30M) of six years was cheating on me with one of his work colleagues.

I was devastated but immediately ended the relationship and moved out of the house we shared together.

When we were together my family loved him and really welcomed him into the family immediately. They know he cheated on me but are still in contact with him, my dad regularly hangs with him still, despite knowing how much he’s hurt me.

They’ve been pressuring me into going to relationship counselling with him for the past few months and think we should work through our issues. I told them that cheating is a non negotiable to me and not something I am willing to ‘work through’ with him.

I’ve already got a lot to work through with trying to move on from the loss of a relationship and that betrayal, and it is making it even more difficult feeling like I’m losing my family too due to their lack of support and understanding.

It’s like they’re choosing him over their own daughter. I don’t know how to handle things without cutting them off.

Netizens’ comments

Honestly this is just sad. Your family seems more supportive of your cheating ex then their own who is hurting. He hurt you and they are dismissing that. They are choosing him, but you need to choose you.You need to tell them that if they decide to stay in contact with someone who chose to hurt you then they can accept the fact that you won’t be their lives. They are your family and they should support you and comfort you.

There is a step in between cutting them off and putting up with this. It’s setting boundaries.Tell them one last time that cheating is non-negotiable to you. That it destroyed the trust in your relationship. That no amount of counseling will rebuild the trust he destroyed. That your relationship is over, you won’t reconsider, and it is not open for discussion. That you are disappointed they are pressuring you into a relationship that left you betrayed, devastated, and miserable.Tell them if they bring it up again, you will immediately end the phone call / visit / whatever. Then enforce those boundaries. I imagine they will test them at first. So be prepared to say ‘Mum, I told you this is not up for discussion. I am ending this call now.’I assume your family is pushing this so hard because one of your parents cheated.