my Boyfriend (26m) said he’d break up with me if I (22f) got my hair cut

Hi all, So the other night my boyfriend and I were talking about style and fashion. I asked him what he thought of short hair (slightly above or above the shoulder).

He said that it was a deal breaker and that he would probably break up with me if I got my hair cut that short. This surprised me since we’ve been dating for 1.5 years and it’s just a hair cut. I have been thinking about getting my haircut shorter since the ends are dead and unhealthy. I had told him this too.

I then asked him to explain more. He said that it was not “his preference” and “I’d look like a guy” if I got my hair cut above my shoulders and it’d take too long for my hair to grow to an “acceptable” length and he doesn’t want to wait.

He then went on went to asking me why I wanted to do it. I told him my reasoning again, and he got mad saying”It’s not like you have cancer and have to cut your hair.” This rubbed me the wrong way, I mean, it’s just a hair cut. I told him I felt this was really superficial and that I still wanted to get it cut. He then said that I was just doing it to cause problems since I “knew he didn’t like it ,” and I’m directly doing something he doesn’t like.

I thought this was really controlling and it triggered a lot of self esteem issues because he kept saying how I wouldn’t be attractive if I cut my hair. I explained to him how I already don’t feel attractive and I wanted to cut my hair to try to mend that.

It also made me question the relationship since something like a hair cut would be enough for him to break up. I left that night sad and he was frustrated at me, and said that I always pick fights.

I want to talk with him more about this, but I’m not sure what to say or even if it’s a good idea to continue this conversation. Should I just drop it?