WOMAN’S FATHER MOVED INTO HER HOME, STARTS DOING HIS DIY RENO WORKS ON HER HOUSE
Singapore Uncensored·2024-04-09 12:05
I am in my early 30s (F) living with my parents. My father used hokkien swear words, sudden yells at us if he was unhappy about us being loud etc, even raised a knife at us when my sister and I finally drummed up the courage to talk back at/yelled back at him in our 20s. Our mother is loving, docile, has gotten braver at having her own opinion but enables him to a large extent for the past few decades.
My sibling has since moved overseas and I saved and bought a house recently. The parents have moved in with me. The problems that have caused me immense stress and anger is my father will do his own DIY projects around the house such as repainting certain sections of the walls.. bathrooms.. mending the grouting with some unknown plaster.. nailing and spoiling walls.. basically slowly taking over my house.
Sometimes he is nice enough and he does things like buy food for the house.
I have spoken nicely, tried to reason (didn’t get anywhere because he is uneducated, elder-entitled and seems to love staying that way), shouted, quarrelled with him but nothing has improved. It has only gotten worse because he would do these things when I am not at home and I would discover these atrocities days or even weeks later.
I get that uneducated elders tried their best to raise us. I do, but it is absolutely killing me inside to have to see my house with ugly corners/changes and father is just stubborn to death. The negativity and disrespect makes me wish sometimes he is dead. I know it’s such an evil thought, but the mental anguish from decades ago until now has manifested in different ways and I feel mad depressed. It is impossible to give respect to elders like him.
Should I drive them out of the house for my own mental well being? Will I be the AH?
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Don Quan 13/04/2024
it is only possible to be resolved within your own family members we as outsiders cannot and should not be interfering in your family matters
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Balance View 11/04/2024
Suggest u arrange trusted elder friends to be ur father as friend, slowly influence him that he considered very lucky to have children living with him and he need to build up family bond with care and respect each other's concerns and home modification limitations as Red Lines that will lead to bad outcomes for all 🙏
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Foschia 11/04/2024
The only way I could do that that was if you had to do that and you would be in a hurry and you could get it to the other
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Who Knows? 11/04/2024
Where were they staying before moving in? Ask them to move back lor. Say you need privacy and to start own family. [TIRED][COOL]
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Blund 14/04/2024
啊 .. You got no choice… we can’t choose our parents
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