My husband isn’t as great as what others think

I have nowhere and nobody to rant to, so let me write it down here to ease my mind…

People always think my husband is a real good guy. A real gentleman. He’s polite, he’s highly educated, he’s discipline and he has good work ethics. His female colleagues always think I’m the one who holds power at home and teased him thinking I henpeck him every time. The truth is, I merely hold my boundaries and I just don’t do gossips like most women do. He always holds the final decision. Talking about gossiping, he’s the one, in fact, who loves to gossip with his friends than I do with mine.

The thing is I feel like my husband loves getting compliments and praises. He’s proud for marrying me, not because I’m someone he would like to show to the world but because I come from a high income family and he doesn’t. He’s proud for being a good father, and won’t fail to mention that in his own way to everyone.

I have to admit he’s generally a good father. But what I can’t stand is the way he boasts about himself even to me, what’s the need?idk. I’m guessing he feels good when he boasts. He criticises others’ way of parenting, so much so often. And yet, he says I’m judgmental when I discuss about someone else’s way of parenting. But I’m a “you do you” believer. Unlike him, I don’t force my way of parenting to others.

Here’s the best part – he criticises people who hit and cane their children. But why our children are never caned, it’s because I always fight back whenever he loses his temper and takes the cane. Please don’t argue with me about this, I’m just a non violent believer. As I said, you do you.

Another thing is he doesn’t compliment me, like ever. I have sacrificed so much for him and the family, but he always thinks I’m supposed to make all those sacrifices. Would it kill him to thank me? I don’t need grand gestures, but he just doesn’t and wouldn’t thank me or acknowledge what I’ve done. Yet, when he does something he sings praises and gets acknowledgment from his friends and family.

I see how husbands thank their wives for giving birth to the children. My husband never did so. According to him, I want children as well, so why should he thank me?

He feels like he owes his parents for giving birth to him and raise him, but I never feel like appreciated for doing the same for our family.

He wanted to join his family to go back to Ipoh for a relative’s wedding and planned to leave me alone with our baby during my confinement.

Yes, leaving me alone with our a few days old baby for his relative’s wedding just because his family will be there. What kind of husband would do that? I cried and begged him not to leave because I was afraid I’d fall to PPD, so he finally decided not to go. Couldn’t he spare his thoughts for me?

He’s generally a good guy. He’s really polite and can be really respectful. But I feel like I’m married to someone who has zero capability for romance and very much thirsty for other people’s compliment.

Nobody would believe me if I tell them all these. He’s good at maintaining his facade. I’m on the other hand, is the one who looks distressed all the time. Often look and feel hurt from being unappreciated so many times and for so long.

I’m staying in the marriage because I have my children to love… and after all these, I don’t know how to let go of my resentment towards him.

I just wish he could appreciate me instead of praising himself over and over again. Is that too much to ask???