Hi, you guys. First of all, thank you for posting my story.

My story may be short. I just need some advice.

I got married in the last 2 years, on the brink of COVID attacking our country.

My husband and I were in love for 5 years before getting married. Since my university days.

My husband is 4-5 years older than me. We are not like other couples in love,

Because I am too academic-oriented, my schedule is really busy with study groups, night revisions, tests, extra assignments and so on.

When I have free time in my schedule, I or he will ask me out. Even if there is money. You know, still a student.

And after a few years, he started working, and I started to track to the final year of studies. The busier you are, the more you don’t have time to meet your love ones.

But, he understood. I am grateful. Even though we are far away, I also send flowers, gifts and so on.

I save a little money to buy him gifts & to always remind him that even though I’m busy, he’s still my priority.

After finishing my studies, I was immediately greeted by an MNC company. And I started my career as a process engineer. I’m definitely a workaholic (work overtime even on weekends), and I’m very career-oriented.

I don’t mind staying up late to learn more in my field, because I love what I do. With the lockdown, and each other’s busyness, it is rare to see each other. Every 3-4 months? Even if there is no lockdown.

In fact, my parents don’t really approve of the two of us dating too often, it’s not sweet. I agree.

So when going out together, it is usually accompanied by someone (friend/family member). Instead of watching movies, eating, etc.

I send flowers and gifts more and more often, to show that I appreciate what he did for me. And he did the same thing.

Long story short, I was spied on by my mother-in-law. And both sides agreed to unite me and my husband. And we got married. Happiest, there are no more barriers of space and time.

We both worked hard to start a life together. Little by little, it becomes a hill.

Because we both work, money has never been a problem for me or him. We both share a household budget for our lives.

A few months after we got married, we were surprised that my father-in-law was sick. My husband’s relationship with my father-in-law is a bit strained, because my husband was raised by his mother.

So I took this opportunity to reunite the strained relationship, I always invite my husband to take care of his father in the hospital.

At the same time, I was offered to work abroad. But I refused on the basis that I wanted to focus on my father-in-law first.

For me, it doesn’t matter, sustenance is never in the wrong address. If there is, the sustenance will come back.

Not long after, my father-in-law returned to god. My husband was overwhelmed with grief, even though he didn’t point it out in front of anyone, even me. But I know his heart. I tried to help but it was not easy.

A year later, I used his computer for personal matters (I bought things from Instagram).

After I make the payment, I want to send a copy of the transaction receipt to myself as proof of purchase. So I used my husband’s web Whatsapp, and searched for my name.

Later, my name was often mentioned in other conversations with his friends. So I opened that old conversation, dated a year before we got married.

Based on that, the context of his conversation with his friend sounded like my husband was attracted to a girl at his workplace at the time, and one of the reasons why my husband was attracted was due to the distance in space and time between him and me.

That’s all I feel. Tried to talk, and confront him, but denied my suspicions. Tried to ask his friend, also strongly denied.

Then I closed my suspicions, While I know, my suspicions are real.

After that, until now, when he rejected my invitation to make out, I often thought, and compared myself to that girl.

Did he think about the girl? Does he regret it?

I tried to discuss taking him to see a family counsellor, but was denied again. He said no need, nothing to doubt.

I’m stuck. Am I wrong?