Hello I’m a 33yo Female who has low EQ. After reading that recent post about office dynamics and team playing, I realise I severely lack likability as well.

I do make the effort to chat with my colleagues, smile, be pleasant and go out with colleagues for supper after work and have a laugh together. However, I’m still facing a lot of negative comments for my posture, lack of commanding presence … just colleagues have nothing good to say about me. When I try to contribute to a senior colleague’s request for help/advice on the group chat, my boss said she doesn’t like people who show off. Once I asked a colleague whether I should send something useless but very funny to the boss. My boss also said she doesn’t like when people check themselves first before deciding whether to send her a message or not. It’s very weird cause another colleague brings different Rolexes and branded bags to work and boasts about spending $6k in one makeup/skincare haul. Boss says nothing and she’s one of the staff with admin responsibilities. She didn’t like me on first sight and has been inventing or exaggerating every single mistake I’ve made daily.

Another time while rehearsing for a lesson around a table with fellow teaching colleagues (during a feedback session where certain colleagues were asked to rate my teaching style), one colleague spoke up without originally being asked to be involved (we weren’t teaching the same levels and subject) and just added on the (very random but personal sounding) criticism such as posture, blah and finally – that I sound “contrived” when I was greeting the roleplaying “students”. A mini boss added on to rephrase him and said “you mean fake”. Then the colleague said yes but he didn’t want to use the word fake. It was quite painful since I sincerely reached out to the role player with warmth and interest and I usually speak in the same way to everyone.

Lastly my boss made a slight reference to me needing to take adhd medication. Another ex boss from ex company once repeatedly asked me if I’m paying attention on a zoom call. I was giving my full attention and was looking at the camera and listening to the discussion the whole time. I notice that when I do take my adhd meds I get very tense/stiff and hyper vigilant/ anxious so I haven’t been taking my adhd meds for almost a year already.

Anyway I really need to improve myself, if anyone can help give advice, please do!