In The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, #MomTok is the undefinable glue that holds the women together. The cast spends most of the show debating who’s in #MomTok, who’s out, and what the hashtag even means (after two seasons, we still don’t know). But one thing is for sure, #MomTok has almost nothing to do with being moms — at least in the show’s portrayal of it.

Taylor Frankie Paul, Layla Taylor, Demi Engemann, Jessi Ngatikaura, Mikayla Matthews, Mayci Neely, Whitney Leavitt, Miranda McWhorter, and Jen Affleck all have at least one child each, and there are certainly some nods to parenting in the show. At least one cast member is pregnant at all times (currently three are), there’s a baby shower (or two), Paul works out some of the kinks of her co-parenting relationship with ex-boyfriend Dakota Mortensen on camera, and kids occasionally run wild in the background while the women attempt to parse out the details of who did what in a now-infamous swinging group that launched the show.

But the show is very clearly not about motherhood, despite the hashtag that supposedly unites them all.

Executive producer Georgia Berger tells SheKnows that the choice not to focus any storylines specifically on children was not only deliberate, but part of the very foundation of the show. “The kids are still so young,” she says. “We have a lot of parents on our team, and they, from the beginning, have been incredibly vocal about protecting the kids.”

It’s a precarious situation for the show to balance. On social media, the stars of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives pretty freely post their kids and readily make them part of their brand. But amid a growing online discourse about whether kids’ images should be shared online, a reality show left in the hands of a team of producers and streamed out to millions raises different ethical questions than a video posted by a mother.

Berger says that The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives producers are “very aware” of the potential impacts of sharing a kid’s life online, but adds that they make no attempt to police how much or how little cast members want to show their kids. “If they have to bring their child to set but don’t want them on camera, that’s that. No questions asked,” she explains, but says that in other cases, “the kids see their parents doing it and want to do it too.”

Of course, some of it is out of the show’s and even the cast members’ hands. “Typically, the women [who] are separated from their children’s fathers are the ones who are stricter about it,” Berger says. “Those dads aren’t as aware of what’s being filmed, so it’s more sensitive.”

Paul, for example, said during a September 2024 appearance on The Viall Files podcast that her ex-husband was approached to be on season one of the show but opted to keep himself and their two children off the series. Her youngest son, Ever, whom she shares with Mortensen, makes fleeting appearances.

In reality, though, #MomTok has never needed to be about the kids. Between the swinging scandals, dirty sodas, affair accusations, and Chippendale drama, the show has plenty to keep fans engaged.

“While they all have adorable kids, they’ve never been the draw,” Bergen says. “The intrigue has always been about the women. Yes, they are moms, but they’re so much more than that.” 

Before you go, click here to see more details on who was involved in Taylor Frankie Paul’s swinging scandal.