Having sex is a two (or more) person job, and everyone deserves pleasure (Picture: Almara Abgarian)

‘Would you go down on me next time?’ 

I vividly remember the first time I asked a partner this question.

Having never given or received oral sex before, and too afraid to say the words directly to his face, I took my shot while he was in the bathroom. 

The guy I was dating – who was older and more experienced than me – peeked his head out of the room, looking a bit awkward, and I held my breath, playing through all kinds of scenarios in my head. 

But his answer was still unexpected: ‘I would love to but I’m not really into hair down there’.

Already feeling insecure about my body – I was quite young at the time – I was mortified.

I’d never discussedpubic hairwith my friends and it wasn’t a topic they talked about in sexual health classes at school (they should have, but that’s another column) so his comment took me by surprise.

This was also during the late noughties, when being plucked, waxed and shaved within an inch of one’s life – from your vulva to your eyebrows – seemed to be all the rage.